I'm sure that I speak for many when I say that all our thoughts will be with you as you have to make this huge decision. Do your research well before you choose where to your wife might live and you should have no reason to beat yourself up! You never know....she might thoroughly enjoy the additional company, PD can be a very lonely condition.

Good luck Jim.

Dear Jim, so sorry to hear about your dear wife, I have done nothing but cry today. This this darn cruel disease has ripped my family apart and my brother wont accept my help, I rang the crisis center that is dealing with his case and they would not tell me anything, I get so angry with it all but a friend told me that my anger was passion.

Crisis folk got in touch with my Bro and he in turn rang me saying "Radz, please stop ringing these people, I am telling you everything that's going on, I will get past this, I am off the drug that was making me do the things I was doing, I love you sis don't be worrying about me,"

That broke my heart, he said he has appointment with PD specialist 19 Jul and will keep me posted. Fair enough but that wont stop me worrying myself sick about him. I feel he has tied my hands and I do not know where or what to do now.

If I may can I still come into the forum, I feel all you lovely have helped me this past few weeks and I am so thankful for all you have said and told me

I don't know if this is the write topic to be saying all this in, I am brain dead just now.

Love to you all

Ratz x
You can stay for ever! :stuck_out_tongue:

Can you find out from GP/Specialist if Bro is telling you the truth, i.e. have ALL dopamine agonists been removed from his repeat prescription?
Ah Bless you Ray and thank you..............nothing new on Bro, he has not answered my morning text or call thus far.......I might fly home on the date of his appointment with PD specialist and just go the the hospital myself...I say might because as I stated somewhere before I am waiting the call to go in for hip replacement.

Radz x
Hi. If you don't mind me asking, whereabouts are you all, geographically? (Only roughly). Sounds like you're all over the place!

Reply by private message if you'd prefer.
Yep, we are all over the place but Bro and family are in Ireland.

Radz x
Hi Jim,
Not much I can add from the great advice you've already received, but just wanted to offer my support and that I hope you both receive the help you deserve.
Hi Jim.Only just returned to the Forum and read this thread. My thoughts are with you.
Hello again

First off let me say that I've been very touched by the comments and sentiments expressed on this thread. However I am conscious that my situation is only one of very many in the same boat.

I've been off here for some time as things suddenly became very hectic. My wife was discharged from hospital after having her femur pinned and has gone into a care home. Her needs were assessed as two people for 24 hours a day. Social Services could only offer 2 people for 30 minutes, four times a day.
I had already come to the sad realisation that I could no longer meet her needs at home and that just confirmed it.

So, I got her into a local home where I could walk to in five minutes. This lets me visit her twice daily. Unfortunately the PD symptoms seem to have accelerated after the accident and she can't support her head which makes swallowing food, drink and medication almost impossible for her. Her speech has become impaired to the extent that I struggle to understand what she is trying to say. The fact that I have a degree of hearing damage doesn't help.
There is some confusion and hallucinating as well.

The result is that after three weeks in the home she is back in hospital where the Parkinson's doctor is trying to adjust her medication to see if she can get some quality of life back.

I've found that the only way to survive this emotionally is to block it totally once I leave the hospital. I keep myself busy and my mind occupied during the day. The dark hours are a little more difficult.

Her situation has destroyed any lingering belief that I might have had that there is a Almighty God. Any deity that would treat one of his "children" this way is not worth worshipping.
Hello Jim, thank you for updating us regarding your situation. Sometimes we all feel that there is little light at the end of our tunnel. I firmly believe that each crisis we overcome in life is part of our 'road', however, God only knows why some people get more than their fair share!!!

I do hope that the doctors are able to help your wife by tweaking her meds, she surely is being given the long hard road that's for sure.

Please keep us updated, I and I am sure many others on the forum will be thinking about you and your lovely lady. Stay strong...


I think that blocking it out is probably the surest way you will survive with any degree of sanity. I find it really helpful to read it from the other point of view. It helps me understand my husband better: I know that he has to block it out at work.

Your honesty is very refreshing.
Thank you.

The trouble is that any progression of the disease creeps up on you very gradually. So, you adapt and you cope (or you think that you do).
Then one day as in my situation, the pressure comes off and you realise that you really haven't been coping at all, and you begin to wonder just how you managed all that time.

For the past 10 years or so my entire reason for being was to look after my wife and to care for her needs. Now all of a sudden that has been stripped away from me and I'm left with a huge hole in my life which is proving difficult to fill.

I went to see her yesterday and she didn't know that I was there for around 5 minutes. Even then I'm not too sure that she recognised me. She was very unresponsive and could hardly talk at all. Thirty minutes was all I could manage as it was too painful to see her like that.

Some years back I think I recall a doctor saying that when they take a person into hospital like this they remove all medication and start from scratch to try and get the best combination of drugs. I hope this was the case yesterday.

I'll see how she is today.
O JimI do feel for you . I am on the same road as you and so many others .

My husband has Parkinsons and from the day he was first diagnosed I always told him " WE HAVE PARKINSONS " ..

You must feel very tired and confused it's amazing where we find the strength but we do . I think it's the LOVE that keeps us going

Maybe now it has been taken out of your hands. I had a similar problem as you when my much loved mother had a stroke from which left her very very disabled and she went into a nursing home ..

I try not to think about the fact that maybe I will one day have to do the same for my beloved husband or the day I might not be there for him at all ..

Do you have any other family who can support you ,,

Will be thinking of you Jim and I am sure that whatever happens you will always know that you have been doing and will continue to do the very best you can ..

Take care of yourself ..
Fortunately we do have family who have been very supportive but they have their own jobs and their own lives to get on with.

I went to visit yesterday and there was an improvement over the previous day but I'm not dancing round the streets just yet. There have been too many false dawns with this cruel disease for that.

I know there is no cure but I just hope for enough improvement to give her some quality of life back.
I understand how you feel Jim . We have just one daughter who is very caring and supportive but it is the very last thing you want to be demanding /clinging .

Quite often I have had glimpses of small improvements in my husband and the following day been dashed /dissapointed so I now take one day at a time because each day can be differnt can't it . I will be thinking of you Jim take care
Jim- I am in the same situation more or less as you before your wife fell. I am 69 and caring for my husband diagnosed 14 years ago and now a shaking drooling wreck. I have come to the conclusion that at some stage he will have to go into care or my own health will fail. It is a difficult decision and I plan to carry on while it is reasonable to do so- I pay to send him into respite for a week every couple of months, and find that after 24 hours I start to rejoin the human race! I am also a lot nicer to him when he is in respite and I think he benefits from seeing other less stressed faces! I was a nurse for 44 years and have looked after many dependent people- the difference is, you can go off duty after 8 hours. You must look after yourself and it is not selfish to do this or to want a life for yourself. I take it you have had advice on any benefits you may be entitled to? In my case because we have both worked all our lives, and saved, we are entitled only to Attendance Allowance and when he does go into care we will have to pay a lot of money for it- another consideration for me, not knowing how long this will go on.
Thinking of you.
Well, otherwise, what is the care home like? Is it expensive?

I agree about how Parky's creeps up on you, it seems to go in three year stages or plateaus. My mum has had it 10 years now and the home beckons. Basically my Dad would phone up for help whenever she fell over and he couldn't shift her, then the lovely powers that be would lobby to bang her in a home, we staved them off a couple of times but not anymore.