I feel your pain. My mum suffers dreadfully with anxiety when she is 'off'. She lives alone with her dog but I am there everyday despite working and have a family of my own.
Mum has recently been diagnosed with dementia as well and I don't think she should be living alone anymore. She refuses to consider a care home and I can't have her live with us. She has carer twice a day.
I don't know what to do. When she is off she doesn't have any capacity to make decisions, but when she is on she does so makes it extra hard. Her off periods are random and severe.
I am reaching the end of my tether with it all. Just want her to be happy and safe.
I'm afraid my advice is limited as I struggle myself. She is lonely and dreads the nights and is worse now the dark evenings are upon us. She will go to bed at 6.30 and then be awake in the middle of the night phoning me or emergency services as she has another panic attack. She weighs 7 stone now. She is 80 next year and I think about nothing else but how I can improve her life, but it is ruining ours and I feel so terribly guilty that I can't meet her needs.
The PN has basically said there is little else they can do. She will just deteriorate and we have to learn to manage things but I can't cope.
Sorry for not being any help and off loading.