Hello Babesbrown
Reading your post struck a chord with me. I am a carer and feel I have coped well since my husband was diagnosed aged 43 over 13 years ago but just lately I have felt I dont like the person I am becoming. I am hoping it is because of lack of sleep as most nights I am up 4 times and then have to go to work and pretend everything is fine. I am saddened to feel I am becoming resentful. I have been looking on the forum for some words of advice and suddenly remembered a post that someoone in a similar position, made to me several years ago. I kept it and copied it for you below as it helped me then and again today as I have re read it.
Thinking of you this Christmas - and sharing a kleenex across the forum!
Maggie
No magic words of wisdom, Do whatever it is that makes you happy, sometimes it isn't the best idea to continually talk about it as often it is merely a reminder of what is happening to you. Surround yourself with supportive positive people and to hell with everyone else if it helps, in truth only your family, specialist and trusted people really know what is happening, in addition to other people with the same condition.
Laugh as often as you can, don't get too low when days or things get ontop of you .... they do and they will, tomorrow will hopefully be better, if it's not, then the next day will.
Remember this isn't a terminal condition, well not really any more terminal than anyone else, PD or not. Keep smiling and enegerise yourself off other people.
Everyone deals with it in their own way, some don't want to shout about it or be a flag bearer, and not being a particularly religious person, I haven't got the answer to the question "Why the love of my life" ..... other than "WHY NOT".
Try not to be overly upset or bitter, people often don't understand about your situation, often the people who you think know you best, and family, can often surprise you with their insensitive comments that occasionally beggar belief ..... that's a failing in them, not you, so treat it and them with the contempt they deserve.
It's tough sometime watching your 'better half' suffer, it is unfair, it's s***, but that's life.
Also be good to yourself sometimes, you need your strength to recharge your batteries, you're not being disloyal, but there's no point in the Captain jumping overboard if his ships going down. Researching everything isn't always good, and opinions and advice is just what it is Opinion and Advice ... not instruction.
You can occasionally feel alone, but your not .... the love of your life will always be there, and need you ...... Lifes a tough game, there will always be people worse off than you, and amazingly I quite often find they are the ones that moan the least. whereas the type of people that usually whinge the most can often be found down at the local tennis club (or similar) bleating about the crust on the sandwiches curling up.
Smile, laugh and give yourself a pat on the back sometimes, you deserve it as I have an idea what you're going through, don't beat yourself up for previous, current or future mistakes ... you're doing the best you can and nobody could do any better.
I herewith award you the PD equivalent of the Victoria Cross
