It was Friday night the dark had come down
I was heading for the car park just outside of town
One moment I was upright whistling a tune
The next on the ground, my overcoat in ruin.
I had stepped off the pavement to cross the road
You know how you do, using the green cross code
My wife said to me lets not, let's just go ahead
So I headed back towards her to do as she said.
I put one foot on the kerb, I believed myself safe
Took the other off the ground now suspended in space
About to move forward when my front foot slipped
In the blink of an eye I was arse over tit.
I lay on the path, I am not sure if I made a sound
My wife came back to me in a couple of bounds
Later she said that she knew I must be all right
Cos I was cursing with fury at the state of my plight.
When I woke up this morning I really was sore
So I checked all my bones and tissue once more
The truth is that they have made pavements harder
Tomorrow I'm being fitted for new shock absorbers.