They call us the Sandwich Generation, meaning we find ourselves squeezed between two or more generations of our family. Our families may or may not need our help, but they certainly want to be part of lives. If one or more need our help, then their needs begin to compete with thl cycle of our daily living and working.
All the things we do start to undergo a reshuffle to accommodate the new time pressures; it's not enough to reshuffle, so we begin to ditch some things, the unimportant things to begin with, like maybe watchng TV, reading books, newspapers etc. We miss out hairdressing appointments and tackle these, firefighting style.
It's an insidious journey we take to losing ourselves in the sea of needs that surround us and then the guilt begins. The guilt of knowing that what you do is never enough and worst of all, that there is little to no hope of making things right again.
I am there now and struggling a bit because things look so bleak. I want to know how I can feel more positive. I need a stategy of some sort to enable me to cope. I know I am not the first to feel like this and I don't think I am alone?
Hello Workingmum and a big welcome to the forum.
I am sure you felt much better off loading all you had built up inside yourself. You are not alone anymore, there are folk here who will appreciate what you are going through, just keep coming back here and talk, there will always be someone to chat away to.
Try to keep smiling
I am a single mum of twins and my advice would be to see if you can cut down your working hours (unless your job is very enjoyable and meaningful to you). I don't have the energy to work and if I was forced to work I think I'd probably have a breakdown. I don't know about your situation so not sure what else to say. What keeps me sane is visits to my acupuncturist, craniosacral therapist and yoga classes.
Thank you both for replies. I do need to work, unfortunately, but am planning to reduce my hours from April. My father is the Parkinson's sufferer. My mother has been his main carer but her health is not 100% and she is not as able to cope as she used to be. Up until a fortnight ago, my father refused point blank to go into respite care to give my mother a break - he just doesn't sem to understand how much she has to do fir him and he failed to grasp that she was Ill and not able to do it.
My role, while not often directly caring for my father is taking care of them both and doing any number of tasks, phone calls etc that need to be done. I also find myself acting as an advocate for them and increasingly being the one making difficult decisions.re care provision, which can be intrusive in the lives of previously independent people
I have a busy life apart from my parents needs and I now find myself with hardly any free time to call my own.
I needed to have a bit of a sound off I think, and hopefully communicate with people with similar experiences who have found coping strategies