Here we go again

 just returned to forum after a break and stumbled on you are not  alone with your feelings , 1 go to bed at night and like you a don't always want to wake up,and i feel very very low in the mornings until meds kick in.....then the day becomes more bareable...i have just recovered from  a fractured pelvis due to a fall.....balance is a big problem for me.....BUT  i do have a loveing husband who has his own health problems and family who are not far away, and so i force myself to get on with my life as best i there are more of us out there that completely understand how you wishes  kathryn

I have to agree. On the whole, my symptoms are manageable at the moment and I think I'm expected to feel grateful for this - which I kind of do -  but I seriously, seriously resent this condition and the impact it is having, and will always have, on all aspects off my life. There are days when I will do anything to escape from it - it is omnipresent (if that is the right word), suffocating. And then, of course, I feel ungrateful and guilty for feeling like I do...  I also fear that redundancy is around the corner (synergies and all that); the powers that be have decided to incentivise  employees to stop being sick and costing money  and I suspect that they are looking to the future and thinking it'd be good to lose me now through restructuring - much cheaper to lose me before I need more time off or request ill  health retirement. As you say though, getting on with it (whatever 'it' turns out to be) is sometimes the only way forward and tomorrow may be a happy day.           J:-/

 I'd like to post what I want to say but it's 9 pm and I've just got to go to bed, 

Hope to be in touch tomorrow.

all the best




Reading your piece has moved me - it describes exactly how I feel - to force myself back into life I bought this post office and try to run my business - after 19 years of pd I certainly feel stronger than ever because now I have reason and purpose - yet small minded people on here don't seem to like me trying or don't believe my story for some reason