Jim, I'm glad to see you're back on the forum. You say it has been about a year since you lost Christine. I'm approaching the two-year mark. In fact, February 6 was an anniversary of sorts. That was the terrible day in 2012 when my husband got his diagnosis of cancer, which had metastasized so widely that there was no doubt it was terminal. He lived only till May.
You say you "haven't even started to get over the event." Neither have I, really. Perhaps we never do. When you lose your life partner, mourning is part of the rest of your life; it just changes in quality or form. I am going forward, keeping very active, and counteracting PD as well as I can. It sounds as if you are following a similar course. What else can we do? But even when I'm laughing with friends, the sense of loss is there. Only we know what's going on inside.
Perhaps after more years pass, I'll have a different view of mourning. I rather hope so. Till then, I wish you all the peace and contentment possible at this time. You're not alone. Best regards, J
Thanks, Jim, I appreciate the kind offer and have made note of your address.
Yes, I keep photos of my late husband all over the house. I have watched other widows and widowers do the same. Probably it's a phase we all pass through.
In the Northwest we are just emerging from under the ice and snow of an atypical storm. Having been snowed in for a week, I am now busy getting caught up on appointments and such. This week I've really filled every minute.
Hoping you're feeling good and having a great day! J
Wise words indeed, despite many offers of help and no matter how many friend and family you have round you, it's be a very lonely road to walk. Nobody can share your pain.
My son in law is going through it with his mother at the moment but that is with dementia, but I can see parallels with the burden that he's carrying.
Up here in Lancs it's been raining and blowing almost non-stop for nearly three months which makes it a little difficult to think positive and keep cheerful.
I hope you still have your "idiotic" Jack Russell. He will help you keep smiling. I love terriers, my favourites being the Jack Russell, the smooth-coated fox, and the border terrier. But my current dog is a Lhasa Apso that my husband and I adopted from the animal shelter about seven months before his death. Lhasas are not so wild and funny as Jack Russells, yet this one is a great, playful companion and probably the smartest dog I have ever had. His vocabulary is so large now that I can almost talk to him and see by his behaviour that he comprehends.
Has the rain in Lancashire stopped? After a period of snow, Oregon is back to the more typical rain.
Maxwell the Magnificent is still ruling the roost. He was one of the few things that could bring a smile to Christine's face, in her last days, when I took him in to see her.
I know what you mean when you say dogs can almost talk to you. Max has no problem training me to his commands. He does talk to me in his own way and lets me know what he wants.
More importantly, he senses my moods and responds accordingly.
It doesn't matter the breed, more importantly is their interaction with you. When I first got Max it was from a friend of my eldest daughter. She brought him in to her work and I picked him up from there. Before I did, her workmates all came out to see him and handled him, but he cried to come back to me. He chose me and I've never forgotten that.
The rain has eased but it's been the wettest winter since records began. Chris's daffs are coming up and I'm getting ready to broadcast a lot of wild flower seeds over her ashes.
