Really struggling with hubby

I could have been reading a description of my life although I am retired and children grown up now.This is also very isolating especially during these times.
Over the past 8 weeks I have been in extreme pain both shoulders and arms totally bound although now seeing a physio…
I too feel like his mother / servant rather than his wife but advice is always around what he can do to improve things.In truth they are telling me what I can do and I truthfully just can’t do anymore…My husband is clearly depressed and has been for many years since his diagnosis 10 years ago.Around other people including professionals he blatantly lies about what he does eg I do the garden…probably 10 mins once in a blue moon.Hope things improve for both of us

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Hi @Mo5 and welcome to the forums. I’m sorry to hear about you and your husband’s difficult time. I’m sure there will be other forum members who will be able to share their own experiences around the physical and emotional challenges that come with Parkinson’s, and how they manage to get through the hard times.

You can also contact our > Helpline and Local Adviser Service 1 on 0808 800 0303 or email: [email protected] where we have specialist nurse advisers who will be able to discuss your concerns, and our helpline and local advisers can also link you in to support in your area.

Best wishes,


Forum Moderation Team

If your husband is not telling his health professionals the actual truth you can you should start a diary of what he does on a daily basis and go to his appointments with him so when he says he does something you can say how many times he has done it and when. I do, I might just tell my husband in the health professionals presence the last time he did whatever it was. It may just be that his memory is only picking out the highlights and allowing him to ignore the rest of the time. Also I do as little as possible for my husband which may make me sound hard but when he was first diagnosed I tried to help him with things but he got annoyed with me so I said I would only help if he asked me to. Things have changed of course, we used to share the cooking but now I have to do virtually all of it and he has had to stop gardening and his daily walk to the shops but he still does a lot for himself even if it’s a struggle and takes him a long time. I think that making him do as much as possible for himself is a good thing even though I get frustrated at times when I could do whatever it is so much quicker.