Hello Dee
Thank you so much for taking the trouble to respond when clearly you have so much in your own plate.
You’re mother should get down on her knees and pray to God how lucky she is to have you!! But of course she can’t and never would have anyway, even without the PD. There are people out there who seem to prey on the goodness of others…suck out their strength to make themselves strong, then toss then away, like a used toy and find someone else they can gain their selfish strength from!! I’m sorry to sound so vehemenous but I feel very strongly about this, as I have known people like that.
So for you to bother to give me comfort is heartwarming and I thank you for that.
You give me renewed strength to carry on.
May God answer our prayers and free you to live your life as a free spirit, as you clearly deserve.
Rhona
Hello,
Thank you for your encouragement to keep going, even though I feel so guilty about leaving my poor husband alone with the dog!
It is so encouraging to hear that things have worked out for you and I hope your ex husband is quietly fuming!!
Go for it!
I know that once I have gone through this, almost grieving process, I will have the determination to dust myself off, pull myself together and go out there and party like it’s 1999!
Well, you know what I mean…
Thank you
Rhona
Hello rhkna, I too get the same, 1i"m thinking along those lines too, bye.
Ahhh Rhona, at least you have plenty of fight and strength in you…and you can see those selfish people too. Well done, that’s half the battle. The rest is certainly not your fault and you are the brave and bright one for making this move…but it sure hurts like hell. And if I were you I’d take the dog! My first husband took off with his secretary. A not very bright (and not pretty either) person who delighted in ruining another’s marriage. He was not bright either for giving in to the face of a cheat…well if he bothered to see her face…! Sorry! After they married she went off and had another man’s baby. Then she married twice more…then he has the cheek to tell me quite proudly that her son calls him ‘‘Uncle’’…oh WOW! Yes, other people can make you very angry with their selfishness. My mother is selfish too. But my time will come in God’s own good time and I’ll be able to rejoice then. X
I’m so glad to come back to read this thread and see so many others supporting you . If you feel it’s right, then go for it.
I am not there yet. I left my first husband of 19 years because of how he treated me, and now I have been treated far worse by the second one at 13 years. But it doesn’t seem right for me to leave, at least not yet. I left my family and travelled 8,000 miles to be with this one, so leaving him would be a huge step. I still think there is love and a strong bond between us, and trying to undo the damage of the last couple of years is my top priority. Things have much improved, for the most part anyway. One step backwards, two steps forward.
Hopefully you are moving forward too. xxx
Hello Sheryll,
Thank you so much for your response, it’s very much appreciated.
I’m so sorry to hear that you have been having problems, second time around, but, admire your tenacity to fight for your marriage. I wish you well.
It’s not easy by any means to walk away, and it’s surprising how, now, after the stable door has shut, that my husband is sending me heartfelt messages of love and loss. How easy it would be to give in and go back.
A very dear friend of mine has said to me, to try to think in the now, rather than the past or future. Not easy to do when you feel so insecure, but, I take each day as it comes.
In an ideal world I hope to be able to stay friends with my husband, even though we are no longer together.
That is what I am working towards.
For the both of us, Sheryll, time will tell.
Rhona
Hi
I you might be interested to hear a story that is less black and white than yours and those who have responded. I’ve had
I thought you might be interested in a story that is less black and white than yours. I have had pd for over 20 years and was diagnosed in my early 40s. My wife has been a good carer - she is unlikely to leave me - but has become more resentful as my pd progresses. Deep down I think that she sort of blames me for having the disease - I certainly have some symptoms that she doesn’t like much at all. She complains about my pd (and the extra work that I cause her) constantly and there are occasionally times when she loses it and just shouts at me. I quite often wish that I could leave her but that is not really feasible and, as I’ve said, she does look after me - although at a price.
Reading back the above, I realise that I am probably an ungrateful so-and-so who resents his carer letting off steam. But I resent the wall of negativity and the constant emphasis on problems and not solutions.
My Mother is a full time Carer for my father and I feel I have neglected her felling as being a Carer on a full time basis for the last 2 years. It really has got too much.
Does anyone have any good recommendations on how to go about finding a care home for a PD patient of 20 years?
Thanks
Hi Skos,
Welcome to the community.
Sorry to hear that your mother is finding it hard to care for your father, that sounds like a difficult situation.
I’m sure your fellow members can offer their advice based on their experiences, but if you’d like more information on Care Homes you can access it via our website on > https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/home-care-and-care-homes
If you’d like to talk it through with one of our advisers, our helpline is open Monday-Friday 9am-7pm and Saturday 10am-2pm on 0808 800 0303 or via e-mail on [email protected]
.
All the best,
Elan
Moderation Team
Hey Rhona,
Just wondering how things are going with you, now that you have time to change your life direction. Hoping you are happy and in control of the important things of life.
Sheryll