Thanks for kind and useful answers. I'm a bit slow and was waiting for a faster time to answer but it's not come, so i could sound a bit odd. i guess anyone who's been reading here a while is used to it.
Sea Angler - it's so many speech problems at once. if it was just the physical or just the cognitive problems that'd be tricky enough, but both sides at once, trying to handle the physical stuff and work round it, when you hardly know your own name, is too hard.
I do that repeating thing you do. when it's in tourettes they call it palilalia. I didn't know till the other day it could be part of parky too. The memory stuff is hard to live with. i don't know if this is parky slowness or a full on brain crumble. it's scary. i'm hoping i'll get a chance to try one of the alzheimers treatments they think help with more than just memory in PD. What is the fish in your picture? it's beautiful. my partner goes sea fishing, a total obsessive. hope its a good day with you.
Cheshire cat - goldfish or porky pig description got me laughing on a bad day. thank you! that'll help everytime it happens from now on. and good to know that both of these are PD things, and that tremor can come and go a bit. Will try the eyeclosing thing, it surely can't make me look any more strange! Cheers.
wpgchap - thanks that's useful to know some things came and went for a while. i've been reading around a bit and looks like this is maybe a fairly common experience, but not what doctors are taught.
Hard to lose both volume and have the cognitive problems. makes me sad you say you sound like a moron. but think i feel something like that. normal speech seems important in if people can see us as "real people like them", and if they can see us at all. I wonder what not being "seen", and all these repeated "social defeats" does to our sense of self and even our physical health. It takes a bit of energy, not just the struggle to communicate but the effort afterwards to talk myself back out of seeing myself that way. I need that energy and headspace to cope with the practical stuff.
A relative has recent damage to his voice and i watch how hard it is for him to get a space in the conversation to speak and how much energy he has to put into being patient with people, even good friends and family, who don't realise they are treating him as if he's a daft child and as if what he has to say can't be important enough for them to slow down, stop talking, and lean closer to listen.
with me when people treat me like i'm daft or talking nonsense because I can't speak fast or clear enough that's enough to freeze me up bad enough so i don't know my name and can't get a word out. it's a downward spiral. i try remember, if this is the social norm, i've probly been treating other people like this all my life without knowing it. with my partner and neighbour im lucky. nothing about parky is stranger than anything else they've seen and they can see past it, even when i'm not quite there.
i started reading your blog from the start. very useful. thanks. your post about the walk by the lake when you had the good hour was lovely.
Thanks for your help and lovely kind answers Sea angler, CC and wpgchap