Sudden loss of mum due to late diagnosis

I’m numb , my poor mum lost her fight with this awful disease in the early hours of yesterday morning. She passed peacefully (I think) with myself, my bro and dad around her.
She went into hospital in April with a urine infection. We’ve had 3 months of hell. She was diagnosed with suspected drug induced Parkinson’s while in there (schizophrenia meds). I had so many issues from physio not working on her to salt team not bothering to assess and help her to swallow. She started to respond well to her meds but then her swallow went and she also got 3 instances of pneumonia. The last one making her very weak. She was on an ng tube in the hope she’d gain weight but was on it for 10 weeks as the rig op she was due to have kept getting cancelled . By the time it was rescheduled for the 5th time her latest episode of fluid on the lungs had made her to weak for it and it was decided it would be of no benefit but just prolong her suffering.
My mum never understood what was wrong with her she kept asking to sort her out and get her home. She was desperate for food and a cup of tea but this was taken away from her when they advised the risk feeding would finish her off. Mums mental side got the better of her many times in the hospital and I feel they didn’t do half the investigations properly because of this , the longer she was in the worse she got :disappointed:
For the last month she was in there, from mid May she was really battling with the phlegm she was bringing up , it was heartbreaking to watch.
They advised after the last infection she was on end of life pathway. I promised my mum I would get her out of there, it was only the other week she was telling me what ring she wanted me to get her and that she wanted to do her hobbies :cry:
I managed to get her a bed at the local st barnabas and after her ng was taken out at hospital my mum spent a week in there where she was made comfortable, I’m so glad she was there but I’m heartbroken . I feel so sad I couldn’t help her and those last few months of her life were such a waste. I just don’t understand why the gp didn’t diagnose her years ago and why they were constantly denying mum the care at the hospital. My mum fought hard until the end . Thank you for listening :cry: :broken_heart:

I was so sorry to read of the loss of your mum. You are in my thoughts, try and get some rest knowing that you did all you could. My best wishes to you and your family. Minky

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Thank you

Hi @Dee83,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your mum’s last months and her passing away yesterday. I can’t begin to imagine how you might feel, but I just wanted to send our condolences and remind you that we are here for you. You can always pick up the phone and give our Helpline team a call for emotional support if you need to talk to someone.

Best wishes for you and your family,
Mara (Moderation Team)

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I am so sorry for your loss. It must be heartbreaking for you.
It’s never easy losing a parent (I have lost both mine).
Please remember that you did all you could for mum you didn’t let her down other people did.
You will for a while question everything you did it’s natural.
Your mum is resting now and will always be with you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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