The fear


#1

Does anyone else get this I've got it tonight

a fear of  impending doom, this happens to me frequently.

like tonight I have had a busy and very stressful few days and tonight I am scared 

 But I don't know what of 

please tell me I am not alone

 


#2

Hi gcy.

I'm sorry that it's taken 4 hours for anyone to reply to your post.

I know what you mean about "The Fear"  -  I get it too. I don't know what your personal circumstances are or your plans for the future, but I am very much alone.....my 18 year old son is pretty much my only family and he is 200 miles away at university. He will be there for 4 years, then after that he will get a job somewhere, probably in London, maybe abroad, but more than likely nowhere near me. He hasn't got time for me now, so he definitely won't have time for me then!

As my condition gets worse (which presumably it will), I won't be able to manage on my own, so what will happen? Will I have to go into a care home? I suppose I will.

So yes, I get a feeling of impending doom when I think about the future..... 

So you are not alone. I'm sure there are others too.

So.... I try not to look too far ahead. At the end of the day, nobody knows what the future holds  -  PD or not. Remembering that is how I get by.

Hope you feel better soon. 

 

Kathy  x

 


#3

Hello gcy

I get a feeling of panic when I try to make any plans for the future. I live alone, my children are all some distance away.  When I need help, will it be govt. policy to warehouse health problems, or will it be care in the community? I'm not sure which is worse! Given the progression of Parky, and the behaviour of politicians a measure of such fears are entirely normal and healthy. If they begin to take over then you need some help. Do you have a pd nurse to talk to? Might your meds need some tweaking? For me gallows humour helps, but I know it doesn't work for everyone.

Hope you pick up soon, keep posting.


#4

I am lucky my PD is moving very slowly and I have a dark sense of humour most of the time

here I am this morning and the feeling has gone,I have my loving wife with me and family within a dew minutes.

i manage to live quite well cos of my private pension but God help antone who lives alone with this bastard disease


#5

gcy,

Glad to hear you are feeling better today. As I said in my original reply, i didn't know your circumstances, but if you have a wife who loves you and family nearby, and enough money to live comfortably, then you are luckier than some people......but I'm sure you don't need reminding of that.

As for "God help anyone who lives alone with with this bastard disease" as you so kindly put it.....well, indeed. There really is no hope for us, is there??!  So thanks for that.

Fortunately I have my own way of coping which doesn't include taking notice of random negative people who don't even know me.

 

Mosie,

It sounds like you and I are in a similar situation.....we both live alone with no 'loving' husband / wife or nearby family to keep "The Fear" at bay.

I know what you mean about "gallows humour"  -  I do that too!

All we can do is take one day at a time and let the future take care of itself, as much as possible.  And as things come up that need to be dealt with, deal with them. And remember that nothing is ever as bad as you expect it to be!

This works for me  - most of the time anyway.

Take care.

 

Kathy  x  smile


#6

Here's a different point of view, for what it's worth. I live alone with my PD, my dear wife having died some six years ago. I prefer it. At least it is only blighting one person's life (mine), and I gain solace from knowing that she doesn't have to suffer the stress, worry and anguish that would  inevitably have occurred if she had been alive. I don't have to worry about marital problems, declining powers and  other disappointments that sometimes come up. If a problem arises, I deal with it. If problems arise in the future I will deal with them too. This all may sound rather harsh, but it's the way I feel. I still love my wife dearly, and speak to her every day.

Each to his own,

Bob

 


#7

Dear all, I think this feeling of impending doom could well be part of the disease, after all depression is a common PD symptom and has a higher percentage (40-60%) of sufferers among PwP than you'd expect to find in any group with a debilitating disease with similar outlook.

I get it occasionally , always at night, it doesn't last very long, but is a frightening feeling  It feels as if you're falling in a deep,cold black hole. I try to ignore it, distract myself , but the knowledge that it will pass eventually  makes it bearable. In my case I do not think it is linked with fear of the future as a PD patient, maybe it has got something to do too with realising your inescapable mortality? 


#8

HI Everyone

 

Glad to read i am also not alone with the fear of the future , although i do not live alone at the moment at some point in the future i invariably will , i have been divorced for quite a few years now but two of my sons still live at home , they are 25 and 24 and at some point will move on and make lives of there own  so yes i have a lot of fear of what the future holds for me  but try to put things into perspective  and remember what my eldest son said to me when i was first diagnosed  he said ' don't worry about the future mom it's a long way off we will do what we always do and cross those bridges when we get to them ' he may well have a point x

 


#9

Like everyone else, I get scared at times and I don’t know whether it’s caused by the medication; by the condition itself; whether it’s a fear of the long-term future or whether the condition has brought my future into the present.  My Neuro says that I mustn’t allow it to do that.  She tells me to “go out and live your life”.  She’s right of course, and I try to take her advice even though it’s not always easy. 

But I do know this:  terminal cancer would scare me more because there would be so little life left to live.  And terminal cancer in one’s child or grandchild must be the very worst thing imaginable. 

As far as I’m concerned, PD is not the best of hands to have been dealt, but neither is it the worst, and I try to remember that when the Black Dog visits.