Hello AnnE1
I read your post this morning but unfortunately do not have a lot of time to reply today. However I wanted you to know that your story is not uncommon. In fact there was a post just the other day that could almost have been written by you and I give a link to that because I think much in the replies to that post, including my own, could apply to you and maybe give you a starting point.
Hopefully others will stop by to give you some help and support and I will come back to you asap. I wouldn’t normally reply quite like this but I am aware some hours have passed since you posted and I didn’t want you to think no-one was going to reply given the emotional turmoil you are in at the moment. You have come to the right place for support even if it is a liitle slow sometimes. Take a look at the link and replies.
Speak again soon.
Tot