Understanding people's behaviour on the forum


#21
I've and read and reread these postings,

In each reading, I hear the pros and cons, the fors and againsts, the excuses, the blamings, the excuses, the excuses, the excuses.

However where do the victims lie? Are they be to be brushed under the carpet? Their lives in a turmoil because of a single person!

Their lives wrenched apart in a vulnerable place, trusting an unknown unseen person who has manipulated them through their vulnerability into exposing their innermost fantasies.

There must be a boundary.

There must be a limit beyond which we, as Forum members, cannot conceivably accept any further wrongdoing.

However I don't feel that anybody who has Parkinson's Dis-ease should be given a life ban on the forum, no matter what their ills. Positively I think that there should be a probationary period, possibly 3-6 months where that person has time to review their actions and be given the support that they need.

I've had my say.

Let the onslaught begin!

Cecily.

#22
Hi Cecily,

I strongly agree with the quoted words below

There must be a boundary.

There must be a limit beyond which we, as Forum members, cannot conceivably accept any further wrongdoing.

However I don't feel that anybody who has Parkinson's Dis-ease should be given a life ban on the forum, no matter what their ills. Positively I think that there should be a probationary period, possibly 3-6 months where that person has time to review their actions and be given the support that they need.


When living with a progressive illness that is strongly influenced by mind changing drugs and the progression of symptoms that so cruelly changes our personality, it is only fair to review our behaviour from time and allow us to try and gain some order and control by professional guidance and and support.It may be that we need to change our medication or seek the advice of a psychologist or behaviour specialist. How ever I think if the person remains to be abusive and doesn't try to prove themselves it is only fair they refrain from posting.

Also I do believe that MSN and the Personal Messaging system have a strong influence on the activity on the forum and the way people interact with each other. A lot of personal issues are imposed on the forum for this reason.

QT

#23
And who is better qualified to state the obvious?

Cecily

#24
ME:confused::fearful::imp::smile::wink::disappointed::laughing::sunglasses:AND THE MANY FACES OF IMPULSIVE BEHAVIOUR:fearful:

QT

#25
With the greatest respect QT,

I think we're agreeing upon facts from different aspects. You seem to think you are one of the few who have been affected by our medication.

I too have been distorted by an increase in alcoholism, hypersexuality, increase in, what's the word, spending capacity, bulimia and heaven knows what else.!!! to mightiful excess and I'm the only one who can vouch for that.

I'm on the side of the person who sees the problem and can restrain themselves, and from whom I have a lot to learn.

So for those of you who can give us any help or advice, I would willingly listen and hopefully change my ways.

Cecily.

#26
Hi Cecily,

With the greatest respect I know damn well that i'm not one of a few but one of many. I am under no illusion not even when I look in the mirror.

QT

#27
And Cecily I have changed my ways but there's always room for improvement.

Good night Cecily
QT

#28
I am bewildered and shocked by recent events.
For what it's worth, I feel the other party's emotional state is being overlooked and I hope she is receiving the support she needs.
I know neither very well, but I do have reason to be grateful to Sid for his support at a time when I was low. Sid has always been extremely supportive of others at their time of need, even when he himself was struggling to cope with his symptoms.
I do agree entirely with Cecily's posting of 14 October at 16:19, and I hope one day to see both of those involved posting again with the help and support tney both willingly give to others.
Cutiepie, I recognise you are speaking from the heart and trying to make good the wrongs you feel you have done - STAY STRONG.
SlackAlice

#29
I feel I may have upset people, not my intensions by any choice. I've had a very trying day, my brother's very ill in hospital, MS progressed so much, he no longer recognises me or those close to him and lives for the moment. I didn't start this thread to cause arguements, just wanted to try and grasp an understand of why people behave the way they do. This is such a strong and over whelmming thread. I know I'm not alone in suffering from the side effects from medication and the pressures that Parkinson's infringes on our lives.

Cecily, I'm so sorry to hear how you've been suffering too and I truly mean that. I hope we can all help each other. I know I'm far from perfect but for all it may be worth, I do genuinely care and I know you do too.

Good night
QT

#30
Hi Cutie,
Hope you managed some sleep,its so hard seeing a loved one going though what your poor brother is.Thinking of you.
Take care
Dot xxx

#31
An element of Lady Macbeth, I believe resides in most of us, it certainly does me! I suppose the desire to wash away one’s sins is not just wishful thinking but a desire to cleanse our conscience of what is morally and psychologically right -- hence can look in the mirror and look myself straight in the eye and like what I see? Well my answer to that a few months ago would of been no! To be honest when I looked in the mirror I saw a soulless person, no emotion, no feeling, just emptiness. Now I can see me, and I'm learning by the help of you and others what I did was wrong. I've changed my medication and have on going support of a psychiatrist.

I suppose this is what subconsciously initiated this thread -- due to the change in my behaviour in the last year and me wanting to explain, not just to gain an understanding but in hope that others could be aware of how medication can influence our personalities obscuring positive personality traits and enforcing negative ones.
Through our lives we learn by each others experiences and hopefully keep on the right road. I believe this forum is the right road to help us through our journey with Parkinson's. It certainly is one roller coaster of a ride, but I hope we can all help each other to keep the seat belt firmly fastened!!!

QT

#32
Hi Dotty,

Thank you for your kind caring words, much appreciated.

QT

#33
Hi Dotty, Cutiepie and everyone,
Dotty, good to see you posting and to know apart from your sore toes you seem to be fairly o.k. Stay well.
Cutiepie, so sorry to read your sad posts and to know your brother is most unwell, but you do seem to have some great inner strength to cope with it all. I will be thinking of you.
I just wanted to add my little piece regarding Sid's ban.
I think grey's post on 13th October - 8.02 was extremely fair comment. None of us know the full story but the important thing to remember is that there are two very precious people, both victims in their own way who are hurting very much still, I imagine. They need to know people on the forum are here for them who are wishing desperately a solution can be found soon.
From my point of view I can only say Sid has been most supportive in the past to me and my husband. He has made a great contribution to the forum giving a lot of support to others when he no doubt was struggling with his own probems, and if given a chance I am sure he would like to continue to do so more than anything. Sid, take care of yourself.
Jaylew, I find your posts very interesting and I am hoping only the best for you. Please take care too.
Kind regards to you all,
bb

#34
Hi Cutiepie
Just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about the poor health of your brother,whom you obviously care for deeply. I have a sister-in-law who came out of hospital this week, and whom I am worried about. She went in for a routine op but things didn't go to plan. During her op, another surgeon travelled about 50 miles to finish what the other surgeon had started. She was nine hours in theatre. Although she is home, she is very poorly. So I know this must be a very difficult time for you, and yet you have bared your soul to us all on delicate issues.
I think it takes a great deal of courage to do that, and at the moment you seem to have it in abundance. Do take care because you've put yourself under quite a strain and you are probably suffering for it already. The sincerity of your words shines through, but go easy on yourself - you don't have to keep looking back. As far as I'm concerned, you can hold your head as high as the rest of us. Like I say, stay strong and look after yourself.
SlackAlice

#35
Hi BB and SlackAlice,

Thank you for your kind words. My brother has secondary progressive MS but unfortunately in the last year his MS is progressing at a rate that his body cannot cope with. He's only 45. His quality of life is very poor but he's got a wonderful 24/7 support team. I'm just preying that the operation he's just had will reap some benefits and allow his body to recover, reprieving the symptoms of MS to an extent that he can be freed some of the pain. He doesn't recognize anyone at the moment. I'm not sure if this is because of the trauma of the pain or the MS controlling his mind. What truly upsets me though is to see the pain in our mother's eyes. I can see how distraught her heart is. Thanks for listening

QT

#36
HI SlackAlice,

I do hope your sister-in-law is better soon, she certainly is lucky to have a caring person like you. Family support really does make a difference to how we cope with illness in our life. I must admit i'm starting to feel the affects that the stress is having on me. PD isnt good this morning and not sleeping so good because my mind is troubled. Power on Attorney needs to be discussed now with my brother's cognitive skills being impaired.

Best wishes
QT

#37
Hi Cutiepie
I hope your anxieties soon lessen and your life takes an upward turn for the better. It must be hard watching over your mother and brother. Stress gets us every time, doesn't it? We can't escape it. And fencing words on this forum can add to our problems too. Just do what you can to look after yourself, because you can't help others when you're in a black pit, and in the personal hell that PD sends us sometimes. Take care.
SlackAlice

#38
Hi Cutiepie and Slackalice,
I hope you both receive some very encouraging news soon.
You and your families will be in my thoughts.
Take care both of you and stay strong. It isn't easy, I know.
bb

#39
Cant live with ya!!! Cant live without ya!!!!

#40
welcome back pokermid.