My dad isn’t dead yet but he’s dying in the next few days.
Last night my mum decided to come out of quarantine against advice to go and see dad before he leaves us. Instead of the skin to skin kisses my mum wore a face mask, gloves and apron - the minimum protection you can wear in these CV19 times when the patient has a cough.
My dad hasn’t got coronavirus. He’s had Parkinson’s for 20 years and in the late stages, which has caused his body to stop swallowing and on top of that has a chest infection which resulted in a cough. All coughs are treated as possible coronavirus at the home.
My dad hasn’t eaten for a week, he’s had no water for 4 days, his eyes are closed and he can’t move. He can’t speak to us and makes this growl with his throat. Parkinson’s took his ability to swallow and it is slowly taking his life. As a family we didn’t know what the end would look like but we were not expecting the situation to be one where we felt like we were starving my dad to death.
When dad passes we are aloud 6 at his funeral, we have to social distance from each other, we cannot travel in the same car together and will be expected not to hug each other as we all live in different houses. My dads friends cannot attend.
If you are going through similar and would like to speak please contact me, I would have preferred to go into this knowing all the details.
I am very sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. I am sure some of our friendly and helpful members will be along soon to offer support.
I would also like to suggest that you contact our Helpline services if you need any additional support or information, our advisers will be very happy to help. You can contact us on 0808 800 0303 or email: [email protected]
I’m so sorry to hear what you have had to cope with. It must be awful and I can’t begin to know how you feel . My thoughts are with you and your family. Please take care x
Poppy
Hello, at a time that would in any event be truly awful for all involved, it has been compounded a hundred times by the restrictions as a result of the coronavirus pandemic which seem particularly cruel given the circumstances in which you find yourselves. I am no expert but whilst I understand why you say you would have preferred to go into this knowing all the details, I doubt it is that black and white. It is only my opinion but aside from having to sit by and watch your father struggle with a difficult end you and your family are having to do so without the comfort and reassurance you could normally have given each other through touch and being close. In effect you are each having to cope alone and I would imagine feeling just totally helpless. Death is as individual as life and for some the end is not the peaceful release we would all I am sure, prefer to have. I know this does not answer your question directly, I am not sure anyone can other than tell you of their own personal experiences which may or may not help, nor am I sure that I have written anything of any real value to you at this time. For what it’s worth however, the photo you posted is beautiful and the love and affection between your parents tangible. That and your post speak volumes of the caring family you clearly are, who have done your best at a very difficult time to care for your father. I am sure he knows that and I hope you will believe that. I hope his medical team can find a way to make him more comfortable so that his end may be a little easier on you all. My heart goes out to you all.
A wonderful opening post Kd. So very sad to read and I wish you all the very best in the weeks ahead. You seem to be a loving and caring person, I wish my (adult) kids showed as much care and understanding about me.
Bless you, your father will be very proud of you and your mother.
This is so sad to hear and my heart goes out to you all.
It also brings it home how serious PD can be and how this terrible condition and times we are in is robbing people of basic human dignity/contact.
My father in law passed away from Cancer a few of weeks ago, like you only a hand full of people could go to say goodbye. Coming from a large Irish family it was so hard, my husband is one of six.
We have decided to have a memorial service when these trying times are over, we will celebrate his life.
Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Annie x
I’m really sorry for your loss - my thoughts go out to you and your family. It’s great to see you offer support to @Keithsdaughter, I’m sure whatever advise you’re able to offer will be much appreciated. We have information on the Parkinson’s UK website about preparing for end of life as well as coping with bereavement you may both find helpful in this very painful time.
Please take care of yourself and do feel free to continue using the forum as a form of support.
When my aunt was passing, we faced similar challenges. We had to make arrangements quickly and deal with all the new rules around funerals.
It was overwhelming at first, but we found newrestfunerals.co.uk to be a great help. They were very understanding and guided us through every step, making sure everything was handled with care and respect. It really made a difference during a difficult time.
