Hello all, my Mum is coming up to 10 years living with PD. We've always had a turbulent relationship and around 6 months ago both myself and my brother were accused of all sorts of "neglect" and "lack of love". I decided that in order to protect myself and my own sanity I needed to step away from the whole toxic situation and allow her to live her life exactly how she wishes. I now hear from a well meaning relative that her condition has worsened considerably and they have asked me to reconsider my position. I have many things going on right now and really don't think that I would be able to cope with having her back in my life. Some of you might be thinking that I am the most selfish creature that ever walked the earth but to me, this wicked disease has already taken the Mum I love and I don't know how to deal with that
Hi, so sorry to hear about the difficulties you've been having with your mum's care, it can be very stressful as a carer and family member.
It might be worth calling our free Helpline for advice on 0808 800 0303. They can talk you through options to help support your mum and you or just chat if you wish. We are open from: Monday-Friday: 9am-7pm and Saturday: 10am-2pm.
There is also information on our website about local support. Just enter your postcode for the nearest support available: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/local-support
You can also refer to our Carer's Guide for more useful information at: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/content/carers-guide-carers-people-parkinsons
Hope this helps you.
Don't make a decision that you may, in the future, regret.
Many of us dealing with a diagnosis of Parkinsons for a loved one could walk away because we find it unbearable to see the person that we love being slowly taken away from us.
Re read your last sentence and get some help in dealing with your 'loss'. I am still finding it hard to accept, after over 18 years, to see the person that I love - not the person that they once were but the person that they are now, BUT, love never dies, as they say.
I have to agree with benji. You may regret not spending time with your Mum when she is gone. I can understand how you feel though, as my own Mum became very difficult and unappreciative of all I did for her, when she was ill, with mental issues, (not Parkinson's). I sometimes cried at the hurtful things she said, but I felt I owed it to my Dad to support him, during this terrible time. I too, had other things going on in my life.....dealing with an alcoholic husband and the break up of my son's long standing relationship. This was all prior to me being diagnosed with Parkinson's, but I was generally feeling unwell, at the time.
Does your brother sill see your Mum? Perhaps you could agree to visit her just once a week. Do you have a PD Support Worker who could talk things over with you?
I think the title of your post 'A daughter's love', shows how torn you are and that you still care.
No-one can really advise you how to deal with this situation.....only you can decide what's best.