Thank you Pippa for your kind words and understanding. I feel so alone - not loved or even cared for anymore …even trivial things such as him being present for the electrification part of the time so that I can leave for work is even difficult for him to be around. He wants to spend all his free time being in the moment “ meaning that he would like to spend his time playing soccer or surfing and I need to check with him if he is avaible. I guess what I’m saying is that if my immediate emotional needs can’t be met he can at least meet the responsibilities of helping me take care of our home. I’m so sad today because even small thing like this I have to fight with him about my needing him to be present so I can go to work while he is off for the day. These are confusing times for me emotionally and sometimes I’m just physically drained trying to make sure everything is taken care of… I’m sorry if I’m feeling down - I seriously feel sometimes it would be easier for me to walk away if he said he wanted to leave so I wouldn’t have guilt of leaving or wanting to leave sick and selfish man. Is it wrong to want him to treat me kindness and love me and take care of me while he can - so when it’s his time I wouldn’t feel so resentful staying with him- and taking care of him. I do that now take care of him physically - emotionally and financially. I feel sometimes he beats me emotionally where I question myself - and think how horrible I was to ask of him to help without checking his schedule. I’m not sure who I am or what this life has planned for me - maybe in some ways God wanted me to put all my efforts into this human being because he wants me to grow and feel sympathy. I will try hard cause I know it’s not easy waking up with PD… or was this always who he was but now the PD has magnified his behaviors. Which came first ? I know I’m not first anymore - I feel giped somehow.
I’m 72, not yet diagnosed.
I have arm swing assymetry.
My left arm just hangs there, right arm swings away.
Strangely, if I stop my right arm swinging by clutching my pocket etc, my left arm swings normally.
I have ‘phantom smells’, and occasional imbalance/lurching when walking. Not often, though.
Is the arm swing thing typical of PD?