Advice needed


#1

Hi, My father was diagnosed in January with PD, we had suspected it as he had had a tremor in his arm for a while. Having survived esophageal cancer in his mid sixties to then be diagnosed with prostrate cancer a few years later it seems everything is being flung at him. Both my parents are 80 and live in the South West whilst I live in Scotland so I am often made to feel guilty about not being around but at the same time my parents pushed us all to be independant and I chose to settle with my family here in Scotland. My eldest brother lives at home and takes on many of the pressures of living with elderly parents but he has his own business and life to.
My parents are of the generation that mum feels it is her obligation to be my fathers carer and that we her children should care for them in their advancing years but I am the first to hold my hand up and say I want them to be my parents not to be their carer - I feel this is a specialist task and not one I could carry out without ending up resenting them. My mum is not coping or dealing at all well with Dad’s diagnoses and often phoning me in tears and sadly her health is not great and she has restricted walking. They are very proud people and I have told them that pride goes out the window and they need to ask what support is available to them, the Parkinsons nurse has been in to see them to give advice but my mum seems to dwell on the worst not the today or tomorrow.
My mum is useless with IT so even this forum is not going to be available -she needs someone locally who understands PD to chat to, have coffee with and rant at if needed.
What sort of support help is available - as home owners I know that a majority of the support have a financial cost.
All advice is appreciated


#2

Hi Joules,

It sounds like you’re all going through quite a rough time at the moment, I’m sorry to hear it. The forum is a great place for all people affected by Parkinson’s, so I hope you are able to find support here yourself.

Have your Mum or Dad called the helpline for advice and support? They will be able to help them with information on local support groups that might be available in their area. They’re available from Monday-Friday: 9am-7pm, Saturday: 10am-2pm (Closed Sundays/bank holidays) on 0808 800 0303.

If you yourself would like to have a look on support options available (whether it be for yourself or your parents), our webpage here has some information on that here: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/our-support-services.

I hope this is helpful for you, and best wishes to you and your family.

Min
Moderation Team.


#3

Hi joules my late dad was same until he fell and broke his hip when I got pd after much persuading he agreed to have help he got on so well with some carers he thought of them as family as they were here 4 times a day just before he died he even started to go out for a few hrs a wk with them your brother should ask for social worker as it would be great help to him there is help out there I know it, s not easy but explain the alternatives to your parents if your brother fails hope this helps
Pete