Advice on getting what's best for Dad


#1
Good Morning everyone. Apologies if this has been raised before, but I want to know where me and my family stand in relation to getting longer term care for my Dad. He is currently in an assessment unit and was only meant to be there 6 weeks, but it is now about 8. He has Parkinson's and dementia, and the care co-ordinators are talking about moving him onto another home for an assessment, and then moving on again. The issue is that my Mum who is 83 and visits everyday has to already take 2 buses to get to the home. The place they are proposing to assess him again as an interim measure is even further. There is a residential home quite near to Mum which would be much easier for her, and I checked recently that they had vacancies. My Mum told the care co-ordinators this but they said 'its not as easy as that'. The problem is Mum is 83 and she recently fell off the bus. Luckily no serious injury but it could have been so much worse! She is becoming exhausted. Me and my brother help as much as we can, but it is very difficult as we both work, and the pair of us don't drive. I have written to Mum and Dad's GP to see if he can intervene, but Mum has not dropped off the letter yet ( I wrote it as if I was her!)She is of the generation that doesn't want to make a fuss, but surely her needs have to be met? Also as they are aware Dad has Parkinson's and dementia, why do they need to do further assessments? He is not likely to get better ( He is 92!)He gets very stressed if his routine is altered, and I am worried it will set him back. Am I doing the right thing contacting the GP? It seems by chance that Mum meets the co-ordinators. There never seems to be a proper meeting where everything is discussed.

Thanks for any advice

#2
Hi Kate_S

You are quite right in saying that at 83, or any other age "but surely her needs have to be met"

In theory carers are entitled to a "carer's assessment" either by social services
or other means which they should be able to signpost you to. This is quite separate from any assessment the cared for person may or may not have and indeed in some cases has refused to have to the despair of the carer. Once assessed the case worker can help the carer navigate their way through the system. In my county of Northants. carers assessments are well established so I trust I will not prove to have been wasting your time in mentioning this. The government has expressed commitment to the welfare of carers but on the ground as always things can vary.

The helpline above 0808 800 0303 are there to give useful practical and medical advice and will be able to tell you if there is Parkinsons Nurse in your area who can help with your dad's situation If there is one your dad should be already known to them but people do slip through any net.

I must say they do seem to be making a meal of it in assessing your Dad and you seem to be in a bit of a limbo. Perhaps others who have been in this situation will be able to suggest what to do next.

Best wishes

#3
Thanks very much for your advice. I will let Mum know, and contact the telephone number also :smile: