Ah Bow2, sounds like you have a situation like mine…!
My mother has had PD for over 30 years now. She’s 90. The PD is at stage 3 advanced. And she’s still as independent as she’d like to be and I encourage her too.
I came to care for her when I became a widow 6 years ago. At the time I didn’t know the full measure of the PD …
As time passed, Dad died, we were alone. My mother is also stubborn, uses a walker, stairlift, and other aids to help her. She fell and broke her hip and took 8 weeks to decide to have the operation in 2017 for a new hip.
My mother also is restless and fidgets rather than sits quietly. But here’s the thing that I’ve worked out …
Their generation never just sit. My mother doesn’t have hobbies as such so I’ve tried very hard to introduce an interest in puzzles. Mother is fixated on moving objects about, I let her do that. She has a pile of old cards/magazines/mail she moves from one side to another, then the next day she’ll do the same again…only she knows what she knows… she can no longer knit as before, and her interest in things is short-lived, but she is very insecure and this means that I have to be with her otherwise that PD depression is worse, that PD stress is worse, you name it her PD symptoms are much more heightened … so I sit with her and we talk.
Using the frame all the time is difficult. It’s not that my mother is stubborn, it’s more a question in their minds about not giving in, not wanting to accept that they can’t do this anymore. Feeling weak and a failure?
So I’ve had to study PD and it’s symptoms on Ytube and on this site and other places. I have heard the talks and read the reports. And I know my mother. With the greatest respect to her, and her dignity, I then proceed to quote from what I’ve learnt rather than just ask her or tell her to use the frame or whatever else I want her to do.
This works. She instinctively seems to understand that I know what I’m saying to her and not just nagging and she does as she’s told … !!!
PD is a dreadful disease for the sufferer and the carer. It is frustrating and annoying, and hurtful. But you are a special person for taking care of your mother and I hope that you will be able to reach her while still maintaining her independence and stop those falls.