Am i perverse in my feeling

About Parkinson's and health Impulsive and compulsive behaviour
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I've read the blurb about side effects and OCB.  My take on the subject is that dopamine is part of the 'feel good' brain functions.  When levels are low through PD we naturally don't feel good and the addition of dopamine in an unnatural way through meds leads to surges in emotions leaving our normal 'civilised'  persona at the door of the bedroom/shop/casino/online temptation.  A bit like being drunk before undertaking the activity.

I think the PD meds simply release pre-existing tendencies we have spent both concious and sub concious effort in keeping submerged.  It's little wonder how devastating having these released with little or no control can have on us and our loved ones.

I'm often told I'm more demanding in many ways simply because I'm less inhibited in seeking something while I can still do or appreciate it (not just sex). My viewpoint is that the men on pause for my love is coinciding with the use it before you lose it phase of PD.

Specifically on the sex issue, try having your plumbing working fine but your wiring not getting to the climax. I'm equipped to satisfy my love's needs but not often my own before I'm taking too long and then it's the knowledge that I'll be a pest again before the timing is right.  On the blue pill (V) issue, these do help the wiring but not with natural spontanious desires when my attentions are appreciated as the pipework's satisfied my love before the pill has got the wiring connected.  Then it's back to the start.

My other OCB is planning things which given PD progression is not uniform for me makes my long term plans somewhat in tatters. Ho hum life goes on.

 

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smiley

       GOOD MORNING KENDO

                       You are correct in your description of how Dopamine can enhance and sharpen sexual feelings, when I was first told I had parky in 99 I was prescribed Madopar and Cabergoline, the latter was known for its demolition o f inhibitions, any kind of inhibitions, with me it was  the sexual barriers that were swept away, my  wife couldnt believe her  luck, and we really did experiment with all aspects of the fun side of sex, and for the first time in our marriage , which was in 83, I felt not only intense love for my lady , but intense lust, I wont  elaborate on those incredible days as I dont want to lose this post  , as occured  yesterday, but I must also refer to the darker side, I began to look on my  beautiful wife as  a sex object, and expected her to drop everything ( no I wont, ohh I will ,PUN INTENDED )), and submit to my needs, it sounds horrible doesnt it, but she even thought that was fun, at first but as time progressed my thoughts warped into monstrous suggestions, and I AM ASHAMED I have to say of my very powerful and  forceful manner  I would take with her, and expect her just  to comply without objection, lets just say the adventures I  had planned involved  others, this was the point she refused to go along with my ever more outrageous suggestions and I realised I was going to break my marriage,I  had by then moved from the RVI Newcastle to NTGH, and I contacted the team of fantastic PD specialists and explained that I  was changing into a monster, a threat, I was immediately taken off Cabergoline, and within 48hrs I was back to normal, however I am now having  very strong  feelings for my wife, I  should emphasise that its always my wife I lust after and for the reasons mentioned in my pervious post there is absolutely no way of the natural course of events  to occur however sad  this may be I  also love my lady more than ever, she has stood by me thick (thats me) a and thin , I am at NTGH next week and intend asking if there is a way  around this frustrating to say the least,  very tricky problem.

                                                        ISNT LIFE FUN  Best wishes Kendo  FED

23

FED

You seem to be at the stage that I'll be approaching when the men on pause is due to end for my love.  That will bring it's own challenges. 

The problem with dopamine pill derived feel good effect is that it occurs without the need for the act that triggers the natural brain cell release.  It's when the 'normal' activity doesn't do the trick that the extreme behaviours surface.  This can be eating/shopping/gambling/risk taking, not just carnal and it affects ladies as well as gents as we know.  I count myself lucky that so far my unearthed behaviours haven't been too extreme but am ever vigilant and rely on my family and friends to tell me of changes they notice.

Now FED, specifically on the relief of tension/desire, have you tried reflexology, accupuncture or the Bowen technique.  I find they are incredibly relaxing in a sensual way that transcends the need for arousal before truly fulfilling relaxation.  I limit my use of them simply to keep the experience special for when I really need it.

 

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  Thank you  Kendo ,your detailed and descriptive post  was like reading my own assessment of my inner feelings, my wife and I have reached what I can only describe as contentment, I live each day as it turns up no matter how c??ppy, and with her support we get along just fine,its the only way really when you are in our  situation, as that great actor Clint Eastwood with his distinctive drawl " A mans got to know his limits" I know mine.

                              Kindest Regards              FED

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 Hello Kendo, can you tell me what is  the Bowen technique, I have no knowledge  of it, have you tried it, my wife can be a little unpredictable and despite  a busy day yesterday, I had to partake in that very pleasant delicous brilliant  oooooh thats very very very nice almost erotic ear dewaxing,  hahh you thought it was going to say something else didnente you or yoo, as  you will percieve, I am  verging on my silly side the reason is my little buddy, DUODOPA has rescued me again from the jaws of hell, I awoke this morning, well I was never really asleep only half  and half  and that level of sleep  depravation can only lead to one thing,hideous dreams, dreams so bad I WONT inform you as to the content or you will think ill of me,the themes varied from being forced to watch my lovely wife, well  with six chinese mafia, all in absolutely 100% DETAIL I was screaming at these monstrous evil thugs to release her, they did not, now usually if I  am in such night terrors MANAGE TO ESCAPE but as I WAS  trying to my wife was pleading with me to stay with  her and this evil scarfaced sadistic BAS???D   I could even smell him, shouted at me inches  from my  face, " YOU GO NOW YOU  LEAVE YUR WIFE AND  YOU GO, " they released me and ejected me from this old ware house I could hear my wife screaming for help and I could not  one giant sumo wrestler type pointed a AK47 at me and screamed   GO GO I KKILL  GO IT IS YOU GO FORGET WIFE, ,,,,,and then !!! thank god I  WOKE UP but  parky plus the increase in anti parky drugs was not finished with me, I  DID NOT KNOW WHERE I WAS  I have lived here  since 1980 but all memories were gone, so my friend not only had I ran and left the most precious person in my life to a fate far worse to  than death, but I did not know where I was and my search led me

  to the stairs, then my wife appeared she looked straight through me her eyes fillled with contempt it was in fact  the soothing gentle voice of my Angel that finally broke the spell, I burst into tears as she hald me, whispering your safe now you are with me,  the time as I looked at the clock was 3am, and as I said  I have not really been asleep  since, this horrible horrible event has haunted me this morning,and I know will take all day to erase, but at least I can erase these visions, I have the rock solid mental  strength of MUHAMMED ALI, iI know this is so for a very, or VIP  told me he could not understand how my mind has not collapsed under the ceasless bombardment, , bugger I wasnt going to start telling you of my  nights as I tend to pour my heart out to you my friends, I  and I know Boss,, Ezinda, I have taken more time and space than I should, but I feel better now so even if you send this post into  the void, thankyou for not gutting me off.                      Kindest  Regards    FEDEXLIKE

 

 

 

 

 

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          Sorry, I went way off course with that one, but it at least invites others who suffer in silence a way  to express their fears, I was thinkinkingkingth, or thinking of emailing Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg if they would like to make a movie , I have a endless continous loop  of fearsome horror feeding out stories such as the one above I would become very wealthy man and Id invite all of you to my Luxury 12 bedroomed home in the LAKE DISTRICT, CUMBERLAND, UK, you notice I prefer the old  CUMBERLAND, not  CUMBRIA, I would delight in putting names to faces, and it will be all expenses paid, Air Fares,  the,  lot this would be a great event for me, my wife calls me FEDREAMER, well only dreamer I added the FED bit for effect, as I was about to inform you in my last post, before I rudely interrupted my  self,my beloved can  be  bit  scatter brained, and  in many ways fits the stereotypical dizzy blond, and on many occasions    has me creased up unable to contain my mirth , I know a lot of folks contributing to  this excellent forum do not reside in  the UK  so will not have had the joy and pleasure of watching THE GOOD LIFE   Richard Briers Felicity Kendal,making  a small holding out of their property, well one episode their neighbour played by PENLOPE, sorry Penelope Keith,was attempting to assist her neighbours on a very wet day and was dressed in a full bright  yellow sou-wester from head to foot, I dont need to go on, in fact  I cant , she had gone and bought this very  sexy  (NOT) Outfit without telling me and a few days back we had some heavy weather and so decided to try this work wear under the adverse conditions, I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF YELLOW and thought we had a tresspasser, but  no it was my good lady weeding, thats weeding by the way, she looked so beautiful but daft and I COLLAPSED INTO PAROXISMS OF LAUGHTER, and what made it even funnier was she could not undersstand the reason for my amusement. So you see I was feeling rather off and the laughter that the vision of my wife  looking  like a apprentice Trawlerman  created    lifted me and transformed my mood, Laughter is good and we laugh so  much now,she is my frontline in the war with parky,

                              Kindest Regards  FED

 

 

27

FED

Apologies for the delay in replying.  The BOWEN technique is explained here:

http://thebowentechnique.com/what-is-bowen/what-is-the-bowen-technique/

In my view it a cross between the feeling from accupuncture and massage that you get once it's over.  A lightness that makes you feel like you're floating.

Another analogy is that it's the removal of the hands from your body that seems to trigger a 'memory' of just having had the most wonderful massage.

I'd recommend you try it, I think they can also incorporate the ear lobes in the treatment but I'd limit the sighs of pleasure in case they mistake you for a Ferengi with a passing Nod (sic) to Big Ears.

 

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  Hello Kendo, I would have really enjoyed that  once upon a time, when I showed it to beloved, she said she would give me the Jim Bowen treatment and stick darts in me,its the velociraptor side of her nature, ( she has been shopping today ),I would rather drown in sewage than go christmas shopping,, peace and goodwil , you must be joking, crash helmets and body armour more like, but thanks for the info my friend.

                                              Have a great Christmas Kendo

                                                        FED

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Can associate with all the victims of the compulsive problems . A good dampner to this is throw yourself into a hobby or your job  this takes your mind of what compulsion you have been smitten with . Sorry that i cant be more helpful but can only say what helped me.

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Unless the job or hobby is actually your compulsion, either one can be a cause of concern for your family and friends.  

I can see what you mean about taking you mind off one compulsion provided it doesn't feed another.  Like posting on forums into the night and beyond, who me? Yes even I'm starting to notice.

If it helps others concerned about compulsive behaviours, consider your inhibitions that you impose on yourself to keep the peace or portray the person you aspire to be.  Now remove those inhibitions ad hoc or continuously where you have no control of when this happens due to drugs or 'to hell with it I'm worth it' attitude that can kick in if you're feeling down.  This is the KEY reason why you must entrust your family and true friends with the often missed non motor symptoms of PD.  They can be your saviors (and spoilsports..) by being your safety net.

 

 

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Kendo while trying to find the right mix of tabs without really realising i was showing compulsive tendenciesi spent a fortune on my house and garden.Emersing myself in gardening to the detriment  of my job.I at the same time  succumbed to one of the main two compulsions discussed on this forum and travelled a sleazy road. But when realised   that my probs were drug induced and finding the right balance tablet wise seemed to scratch the itch so to speak, enabling me to get my job back after being sacked back and  turning my job into a type of compulsion and being lucky with finding a very caring partner i have dissolved the demons in my head at the moment. Yes a few of the 110 side effects  of my mix of tabs have caught me out but they are workable. I still believe with a caring partner a positive attitude and the correct mix of tabs that you can beat the dreaded compulsions that cloud our lifes. .