My wife is 70 and was diagnosed with PD 3 years ago. She started taking Sinemet 2 years ago and still does, although at a very low dose because of side effects after the first 6 months. Her mobility is now very poor with lots of problems getting out of bed or up from a chair, and with getting dressed. PD has also affected her mentally especially during this year. She has always been anxious and prone to depression but now with PD and the Covid pandemic her anxiety and depression are often off the charts. She routinely talks of suicide. There is a lot of blame directed at me.
Worst of all, I think that dementia may be on its way. It is very variable but on bad days if I compare her behaviour to a list of PD dementia symptoms I would have to tick most if not all of the boxes. She herself complains of the mental effects of PD, but she blames them on the drugs rather than the underlying disease. I go along with this because I know that she is especially afraid of the possibility of dementia.
When meeting her neurologist or friends and family she always seems able to rise to the occasion, so I am the only person that ever sees her at her worst which leaves me feeling quite isolated and unsure what to do. Being her only carer has become very time-consuming and extremely draining for me and I know that I will need some support or respite before long. Ideally a woman who would come in to help get her up and dressed in the morning, when the pandemic is sufficiently under control for that to happen safely. However on the few times that I have raised this subject she has become very upset and quite combative at the idea.
The thing that troubles me most is how to address the dementia question. I have thought that on one of her better days I could try to explain to her the indications that I see in her behaviour, but I have not done it because I fear a bad outcome which could make everything irreparably worse. Also on those good days she can seem so normal mentally that I end up doubting myself. Then along comes another really bad day to remind me. Such big changes in mood and mental state!
We have both been married before and I know that she would consider it the ultimate betrayal if I spoke to her children about any of this. Is there anyone on this forum that can offer any advice?