My husband always found it hard to express his feelings. He was diagnosed with Pd 11 years ago and seems to have become more and more detached and at times almost cold. He picks up only the literal meanings in conversations making our relationship inxcreasingly strained.
Has anyone else experienced this?
This is a common feature in some people with PD, my husband is often in his own world and doesn't always hear what you are saying. Nowadays he doesn't retain what he is told and even forgot my birthday which I completely understood and didn't mention it to him as I know he would have been really upset. I am afraid it is another feature of PD that has an affect on relationships. It does make it difficult for carer's and quite hurtful but they can't help it, I know carer's have said many times that if it is something they want to do they remember but I think that the effort of focusing on getting through with whatever they want to do is all they can do, if you know what I mean, hard to take sometimes.
With Best Wishes
lack of facial movement can give the wrong impression and make people seem cold and uncaring and can cause a great deal of misunderstanding. also if someone is feeling a bit 'foggy' complex conversations can be tiring and result in mono-syllabic responses.
not saying that this is what the problem is but it's something to keep in mind. lack of smiles doesnt mean not feeling.
I am in the same boat with my husband . Lack of expression 2 years ago he went into hospital for a knee op and undernormal circumstances he would have been more worried about leaving me on my own than himself . He didn't once ask how I was or coping . At the time it did upset me but I have gradually understood , and yes he has enough to do to cope with himself . He doesn't have to tell me how much he cares . Earlier this evening he was very quiet and looked as if he had something on his mind that was worrying him . I asked if he was depressed maybe , his answer was NO how could he be depressed while he still had me . It spoke volumes .
It's not easy but we all comes to terms and cope with most things thrown at us,
Thanks for your replies - you seem to be much more patient and understanding than me. I get driven crazy by the detachment and at times the rude way my husband talks to me. Wish I could not react but it seems very difficult.
I worked for some years as a consultant for the National Autistic Society. Aspergers is considered to be one of the Autistic spectrum disorders, the main aspects of which are a lack of empathy with others, difficully with social interaction, an inability to recognise the nuances of language or to recognise humour or irony. There appears to be a lack of regard for other people's feelings, and often an intense (and sometimes exceptionally talented)) preoccupation with with one particular interest.
I do not have so much experience of pd ( except for having it myself!), but from the contact I have had with members of this forum I cannot see any correlation between PD and Aspergers,apart from the lack of facial expression, which as Turmip has pointed out can so easily be misinterperated as lack of feeling.
My own experience of PD is that I can become self-absorbed and needy (because I do not like it!), but I hope that I am always aware of how it impacts upon my nearest and dearest. I suspect that this may be the case with your husband.
Also, a lot of our (I mean PWP) energy is taken up trying to cope with how pd has changed our lives. Unfortunately this may make us seem selfish, which no doubt we ( or perhaps I should confine myself to "I") often are.
I wish you all the very best and there will always be a listening ear for you here, as I think you may have already discovered
You got in before me, AB. I was just about to write: "No I don't take sugar, thank you."
A glimpse of the future perhaps?
Lily, I cannot tell you how often I have been told that I am "too wordy". In future I shall wait for a while for your succinct post to appear. Then I might not feel such a twit!
Aspergers and pd are totally different.he doesn't show any emotion or worries as long as he gets fed.he can talk about the world and then walk into the door.sums him up.but he's two years in front at school with his maths.it's as complex as pd cause I've had lots of symptoms over the years that have been overlooked.
My family having been telling me something like what they want for tea or were going somewhere and I forget but not totally I know I've got to do something but can't remember what which is annoyinh for everyone.and yes it effects the relationship they get angry but that doesn't help the person with pd who is in constant pain and feels like he's in a different world now.its differ cult for all.the person with pd has a lot to think about meds,what limb to move next,controlling pain,remembering,trying to smile,trying to keep moving and helping family,but also the negative thoughts get them down just looking at what they've lost,what they've ot now and could lose inn the future,worse case scenarios.
So carers and pwp have to try to talk more and put up with more..to know what pd is like you've go to have it.
Sorry for going on
If you've got no facial expression or wrinkles does that mean you've had pd in your 20s when wrinkles form and what stage do you start forgetting things.anyone help