Benji's Breakfast Bar

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Xmas Cake

Please follow the instructions precisely!

Read method to the end!

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 lge eggs
8 oz mixed nuts
1 tsp salt
Juice 1 lemon
1 bottle whisky
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder


Sample the whisky to check the quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure whisky is still ok. Cry another tup. Turn on mixerer. Break two eggs and add to bowl and chuck in dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If dried druit gets stuck in beaterers, pry it loose with drewscriver. Sample the whisky to check tosiscency. Next sift 2 cups of salt or something- who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon, of sugar or something – whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky and go to bed.

As a variation on your recipe Poker, open a tin of baked beans!



At last clarity! Apologies to you and Benji for misunderstanding.

I should have known better and kept out the kitchen. This thread's been worse than bleeding marriage - it seemed to come with a built in mother in law (joke!!).


Hey, wrong thread. (and I know where you got that recipe from.....)

With the best intentions.

I have no crusade against you. Indeed there is much about you I admire. But when you lash out at others it makes me cross and I feel I have to say something. No longer will I do that. I offer you my sincere and humble apologies for any offence caused.

Cutie, you must have a special hotline to the Mods to get my posts deleted so quickly?

I used your terminology in the post yet i see that your original still stands!

All the abuse that I recieve and i am the one punished!!

say hi to longtimer for me!

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Hi Pokermid,
I'm getting on with my life now thanks so why bring up the past again.Sid has been and is a good friend to me.Yes I did have a few months when I had bad side effects and have been very open on forum about the side effects I had when I was on mirapexin.Sid and many others have helped me though it.I am glad I can call sid a good friend.Yes I agree what he posted was very wrong,he to was going through a bad time.
Take care Dot xxx

Its not your life i'm talking about..............its mine!!

so you just stick with your twisted mate dotty.

Hi Pokermid,
I was happy to keep out until you involved me.Please dont involve me in your slagging off posts.Thanks.

its funny how your writing style improves in literacy, almost at will!

Don't worry dotty, there is nothing in my locker that hasn't had an airing!

You are not the issue here......but at least you have taken the heat of your buddy, eh?

Hi all. It's benji.

Have just found this post and thanks to Pokermid for picking up on what I had mentioned.

Highly honoured indeed to have it called benji's breakfast bar.LOL.

It was meant in all seriousness as a possible help to those who find some meals difficult to cope with and I thought of it after reading another post asking for meal suggestions.

I have enjoyed the 'spoof' recipes, I really have.

Perhaps it could continue, with both real and spoof recipes,and to inform and entertain with the best of intentions.

Hi Benji,

Good to have you on board.

I made my family a concoction of turkey(cheep at the mo, poor old B Matthews)cut up and fried with sundried tomatoes in oil, onions, olives, mixed mushrooms and a tomato pasta sauce. Served up with pasta shells and whole sweetcorn. Got the response "This is restaurant quality"!!

So much for home made meals!!!!

With kind regards, Cecily.

So, are we all up for creating a cookery book with quick, tasty, easy to make and eat recipes? PDS probably need to get onboard if we are going to do it cheaply!LOL.

A few Christmas presents sorted, if not for this year, then definitely for next.

If not, perhaps we could have a recipe forum.

Pokermid, your Hawaiian Toast uses all my favourite ingredients, sounds scrummy, and will try it soon instead of a toastie.

It doesn't have to be a fancy publication. My daughters' PTA once concocted one with a glossy front and back cover, ordinary inside pages and just spiral bound. Sold it for a few pounds to raise funds. Any budding publishers amongst us?

[u]Chicken Pilaf.[/u]For 2.
Fry a cupful of long grain rice in melted butter until brown.
Dissolve a chicken stock cube in quarter pint of boiling water.
Add a small tin of tomatoes to the stock and some S & P.
(At this point I add some dried vegetables to the above mix, can use frozen or left over fresh ones though).This is optional.
Add left over, cooked, chicken pieces-the ones you get after all the slices have gone and you pick away at the carcass!
Simmer on low until the rice is soft.

Tomorrow's meal for us as I bought a ready cooked chicken yesterday.

Hi Benji,

Sounds a great recipe.

Unfortunately, our mutual retrograde has been suspended for a while but I'm sure is covering developments. Hiya you idiot:laughing:!!!!!!

A recipe I may have suggested in the "Old Forum" is worth repeating and is delicious(if you like the ingredients).

Put on a soaked wooden kebab stick (or metal one but it cooks faster)alternate pieces of lychee (tinned) small slices of stem ginger and pineapple (preferably fresh but tinned does well). Drizzel with some ginger juice from the jar and add a knob of butter.
Wrap up in aluminium foil, recyclable, and either medium hot grill for 7-8mins or BBQ for 10.

Serve with vanilla ice cream. Yummy!


Folks, that was a kn*b of butter, a dingly dangly bit, a useful thing for men to go to the loo with. Come on moderators please lighten up!!!:wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink::wink:[::wink

The Oxford English Reference Dictionary, Second Edition 1996, Oxford University Press, 1996.


1. A. Rounded protuberance, especially at the end or on the surface of a thing. B. a handle of a door, drawer, etc., shaped like a knob (kn*b). C. a knob (kn*b)-shaped attachment for pulling, turning, etc., (press the knob (kn*b) under the desk).

2. A small, usually round piece of butter, coal, sugar etc.

3. Especially North American, a prominent round hill.

4. Coarse slang, the penis.

Gosh, moderators, maybe your protection on use of words is too set too high?????


Sorry, I should have called it a small ***** of butter!!!!!!!!!

I'm being sarcastic to prove a point. I think the intervention by the PDS moderators should be re-examined. I bet a lot of us PwP are older by far than most of the staff and have gone through a lot more traumas than them; more than hearing our children or grand children saying the odd "f*cking hell". It's almost like, as a child, I was tiraded upon for saying "Damnation"!!

I do hope this post is not deleted as I feel it is an important point for the forum to consider, both moderators and users.

With great thanks in the whole for such a tremendous facility,

Best regards, Cecily.

PS, If this post is moved it will change the continuity of thoughts and will be utterly confusing to readers.I have to leave it in your hands.

Meanwhile, back on topic. To correct my previous faux pas, I propose the recipe below. Great for the PWP who entertains a deal. Or perhaps has a space in the freezer begging to be filled with nutritious portions that can simply be microwaved each evening for four months. Beware high in protein so take care with the meds. It not an original recipe, I found it in "International Cuisine" (ISBN 0-89626-051-8)

Stuffed Camel
1 whole camel, medium size
1 whole lamb, large size
20 whole chickens, medium size
60 eggs
12 kilos rice
2 kilos pine nuts
2 kilos almonds
1 kilo pistachio nuts
110 gallons water
5 pounds black pepper
Salt to taste

Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken. Boil until tender. Cook rice until fluffy. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice. Hard boil eggs and peel. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts.

Serves friendly crowd of 80-100.