Hi, I don’t often post on this forum but have found great comfort over the years from those of you who do post so I thank you all for that.
My beautiful husband was diagnosed with Parkinsons a couple of weeks before his 47th birthday in 1999 and we both dealt with it and didn’t let it rule our lives. He continued working for seven years but then, because of the nature of his work, had to take early retirement. He continued to play a few holes of golf and do the gardening and bits of diy for many years after that. He just wouldn’t give in. Three years ago he was diagnosed with mild Parkinson’s Dementia. That was a strange time because he never forgot people or places, he just very occasionally forgot how to do basic tasks. When did things, he used to ask if he was “doing this right?” Slowly, the Parkinson’s took away his abillity to do the things he loved to do and it was sad having to watch as he could do less and less.
Almost 20 years to the day of the Parkinson’s diagnosis, in March of last year, we were hit with another massive blow. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer which had spread immediately to his bones. How much more did this lovely man have to deal with. Yet he never complained about having these evil diseases. The only time he mildly complained was when he was in severe pain. I knew that when he did say anything, then he was really hurting. In the space of two weeks, he went from being able to walk, albeit slowly and a unsteady, to being bedridden and sadly the prostate cancer and all it entailed took my lovely husband from me. He passed away on 16th November 2019. To say I am heartbroken is an understatement. I am totally lost. .
The purpose of my post is not to spread sadness, but to tell everybody out there who is diagnosed with Parkinson’s that it does not mean the end of your life, only the start of a new way of life. Do not let it rule your life, fight it with all you can. Yes, you may come to the day when it has taken over your body and stopped you doing all the things you love but that may not be for many, many years. It was not Parkinson’s that took my soul mate from me. Live your lives to the fullest.
Hello Pheebs. What a wonderful ‘love letter’ about your husband who was clearly a lovely man and much-loved. I’m so sorry that he is no longer here with you. You send an important message to us all. Look after yourself and remember you are important too.
Hello Pheebs
Nice to hear from you - it is good that you managed to keep in touch especially to spread such words of wisdom. Best wishes - take care.
J
Hello Pheebs, I want to say thank you for sharing…my husband was diagnosed Christmas time…I cant find words to convey how I feel for you…but I can send you a hug…hang in there…Lena
Thank you for taķing the time to write this post and I am truly sorry to hear that your husband has passed after having been through so much. I really do hope that the life you shared together, however hard it became, will in time bring you comfort in the memories you will have; no-one and nothing will be able to steal those away and through them his soul and spirit will be with you. I entirely agree with your view that PD is not the end but the beginning of a different life but you too are now at the start of a different life and I send my best wishes and lots of love for whatever the future hoĺds
Thank you so much for sharing your letter with us and I am truly sorry for your loss. I can see you’ve already received a lot of kind words and support from the community which is amazing and I know your letter with definitely help other people who are going through the same as you.
We know it’s not easy coping with bereavement which is why we have a lot of information and a list of useful contacts to help you through this stage of your life. Do feel free to visit our website here: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/how-do-i-cope-bereavement. Also, we have a great team of advisers who are available to help you during this time as well, please give us a call on 0808 800 0303 for a chat.
