Hi Ray - and yes his doctors do think I'm NUTS
- even I think I'm nuts to be honest
I actually felt the need to tell them - in my roadside crying, begging for help telephone conversation that I wasn't mad - as I even sounded mad to me
(I can feel tears in my eyes just remembering that conversation, I rang them as a last resort - and it never occured to me that they wouldn't help me).
I would be interested in a petition, and would very gladly join, no, maybe it won't do any good - but in my opinion if it aired the subect and put it in the spotlight it can't hurt. I myself did not know anything about all these problems until I was thrown in a the deep end - I'm very much a newby to this.
I met this man, he was the most gorgeous amazing sexist thing I'd had ever seen
And when he opened his mouth it just got better (you know what I mean girls, sometimes they can look amazing but when they open their mouth you think oh god how can I get out of this
, but things only got better and better
He told me up front that he had parkinsons (you wouldn't know to look at him as his physical symptoms are only slight), and I'm not a particularly stupid person (or didn't think I was) and I knew what parkinsons was. We even used to have a laugh; he has lost feeling in the tips of his fingers so buttons are difficult, so I used to buy tops with the smallest buttons I could find............ no need to explain I'm sure
but just to say you'd be surprised how easily you can open even the smallest buttons if need be
. His parkinsons was never a problem, I knew exactly what I was letting myself in for. We were together a year and a half, he was a really nice, kind, sweet caring and gentle man and I was very happy. We spent a night out with friends, he came back to mine, left mid morning after a lazy breakfast, he went to his next hospital appointment and I got a text to say i was 'the biggest cunt he'd ever ridden', and the rest is history.
Hurt doesn't explain my feelings to be honest, I can live with hurt. I live in the countryside and as I'm driving down contry roads now I look at ditches and fields, and I honestly think IF I PUT MY CAR IN THERE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I'm not going to do that at this moment, but if this carries on for much longer I can't promise that. As anyone who's read my stories, will know he won't leave me alone. I'm at the stage where I'm not even sure I want him back - although I do really - but at this moment I just want peace. I hate him for doing this, I want him to go away, but I still love him, and I go from one emotion to another a 1000 times a day (see I really am nuts Ray
).
I know I have a specific problem, but I'm sure it's happening to more than me. X wants to deal with his parkinsons on his own, which is fair enough, and if it was just simple drugs it would be ok - he's a grown man afterall, an intellegent man, responsible for himself! But these are mind altering drugs. And in my opinion the medical profession arn't equipped to monitor properly either, I personally think these drugs should not be administered unless the person brings another person to their appointment with them who they trust to monitior them and trust to do the best on their behalf, and gives them ultimate control - for that specific thing only, I don't want the person to lose control permanently, that's not what I want. For example, if X had had to have someone with him before they gave him these drugs he would have brought me, and said I trust her - and when I rang them to say what was happening they could have done something. It wasn't that they didn't believe me, they themselves had problems with some of the things I was talking about - they admitted it to me - but as they also admitted that unless he stands in front of then himself and admits it - they themselves are powerless to do anything. If he tells them he wants the same drugs because they are controlling his parkinsons - THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO either, it's a catch 22 situation - there's no end to it.
Amy
[::smile::