Contemplating moving Mum in with us

Hi all,

Mum’s been living with Parkinson’s for the past 10 years or so and now is finding mobility more difficult plus she now has arthritis in her legs. She wants to come and live with us (myself, wife and two daughters aged 8 and 12 respectively) and although we have instinctively said we’d love to have her we also know this can be a daunting task and a lot to take on. I’d love to hear from anyone else with experience in this area or who has had to face similar decisions.

Hi delasoul,

We’ve got lots of information, advice and links to support for carers on our website, here: https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/information-and-support/caring-someone-parkinsons

You might also want to try contacting our Helpline, as they’re able to offer professional advice on a wide variety of issues affecting Parkinson’s patients and their families. You can reach them via email at [email protected], or call free on 0808 800 0303. Lines are open Monday to Friday from 9am to 7pm, and on Saturday from 10am-2pm.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes,

Owen,
Moderation Team

Hi. My gut feeling is to say don’t do it, unless you have plenty of space and can afford to employ carers round the clock for your mum - your mum is likely to get very little help from statuatory agencies if she is living with two able bodied younger adults.

I’ve just read your earlier post about Christmas. Did your mum come to stay? How did that go? You have two young daughters who must come first. If your mum moves in, who will do the caring? Will you still be able to work? It sounds as though her PD is pretty advanced with hallucinations etc and your children are likely to find this very difficult to cope with at a time when their needs should come first. Is it possible for your mum to live nearer but not with you?

A lot to think about but been there, done that, with my FIL 30 years ago and would not put my children through that if I could rewind the clock. Almost broke up my marriage too and we have a strong relationship.

Best wishes whatever you decide, not easy.