I have a family funeral coming up in July. This will involve a journey of 120 miles there plus 120 miles back. The funeral is at 12.30 and my husband thinks we can do the trip in one day. Before PD I would have agreed but now 7 years down the road and aged 72 the thought horrifies me and I am insisting on travelling down the day before so I can have a calm panic free start to the day.
Am I being unreasonable?
I know the idea seems horrendous, but phone a few taxi companies, give them the details and ask them to quote for the journey, including waiting time.
Good luck.
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I would feel exactly the same as you (although my husband might also not agree). It would be a very long round trip. If there is somewhere inexpensive you can stay locally then it would certainly make the day much easier.
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Sorry I didn’t make myself clear. No problem with driving my husband is happy to do that. I am asking as the person with Parkinson’s who finds early starts difficult especially if on arrival you are straight way expected to mix with lots of people.
Hi @Georgiegirl
On your question of perhaps being unreasonable, I most certainly don’t think that spreading this emotional journey is in anyway unreasonable.
However I don’t believe that your husband is being unreasonable either, as he most probably has other commitments or simply sees a two day trip would leave him less time for himself which is extremely important to any carer.
Is there maybe a compromise that can be reached? , for instance you and your husband take along a chaperone (for the want of a better description) and then your husband could return home alone and have time to wind down a little (all carer’s require this)
And you and the “chaperone” return the following day.
I understand this suggestion would be a little more expensive but the price may well be worth paying as you could both be a little more relaxed.
Tommy 
™
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No, you’re not being unreasonable. My husband is the person with parkinsons but we’ve both come to realise that trips anywhere are less stressful if we factor in more time. That often involves an overnight stay whereas previously we’d have thought nothing of driving 200+ miles and coming back the same day. Where feasible we tend to use public transport too but realise that isn’t always a practical option.
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No you are not being unreasonable. Premier Inns can be very reasonable if there is one in the area. Then you can be nice and relaxed and not worry if there are any hold ups on the journey there. You never know how long a journey will take because of accidents, road works etc always best to get there the day before. Much less stressful.
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Hi Margs1, No you’re not being unreasonable, the problem is people don’t understand the problems PD can bring or they don’t want to know. It can be very frustrating when people expect you to do things you used to do with ease & now because you’re body is in slow mo one moment & into overdrive when the drugs kick in. From my own experience (I was diagnosed Jan 2010) I was paranoid people were looking at me when I was walking along slowly & when I went on trains,buses, cars etc I would worry about getting caught short. I would worry about bumping into people and the problems that might cause as I’m a big bloke. I’d be planning escape routes whenever I’d go to a pub or function where there were lots of people. I have gradually build up my confidence again so I can go out again and not turn round and go back again. This is through family and friends support. I told them I didn’t want sympathy just help occasionally and listening to. I do understand how you feel & hope you have a good journey.
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Hey there, Georgiegirl! No, not being in the least unreasonable. That’s maybe 3 hours driving, or at least sitting in the car. When you get out (speaking from my husband’s experience), you’ll be stiff and tired. If there are holdups on the way then the stress will make you feel so much worse, and with PD you desperately need plenty of time to get yourself going in the mornings. We have found too, that packing a lot of driving into one day has detrimental effects the following day. Like someone else says, look for Premier Inns or Travelodge, or AirBnB - which can be very cheap and many of them will offer some breakfast. If you can, stick to your guns, and spend some time explaining to your husband how things are going to be for you if you have to pack it all into one day. My husband is 74, 11 years diagnosed, and sometimes I cannot believe how long it takes us to get ready to do things or to go out. Life is much slower now. Good luck to you.