Hi there, this is going to be a long post with so many question I apologise in advance.
My mum has had PD related dementia. She and my dad both contracted Covid before xmas and sadly my dad passed away in hospital just after Xmas. At that time mum had been taken in to (a different) hospital and after 8 days was discharged to stay with me. When she came home (and to a degree, before she went in) her PD symptoms worsened so much. We found out that whilst in hospital she wasn’t given her PD medication - which is just ridiculous, but I’ve got bigger fish to fry right now. We put her back on them not knowing that that was also the wrong thing to do, so she’s gone from one shock to the other.
It’s mainly her mouth tremor and confusion that is the worst. Every two hours she will start to shake and become really upset, agitated and uncomfortable. It gives her awful headaches and the noise of it makes her so upset. I try to encourage her to relax, breath, take her mind off it, make her comfortable and eventually she will fall asleep. But this can take up to an hour. Then the whole cycle will start again. We’ve tried a teething ring to chew on and mouth guard. Does anyone have any other ideas? Although it takes a long time to settle her, once she gets to sleep around 10pm she does settle for the night now (with the help of her sleeping tablet).
Obviously living here rather than in her home is confusing for her. She is asking to go home all the time. On top of all this I’m trying to help her understand Dad has passed away. When I first told her, she barely reacted. I have tried to include her in the plans for the funeral (which is tomorrow) but she’s not really interested or understanding. I can only hope she hasn’t processed it and maybe never will. Does anyone have any experience of this? Should I keep pushing forward with the truth or just pretend Dad is away doing something and ‘will be back soon’?
My sisters feel she isn’t up to the funeral and I do agree. The timing of it would mean she’d be at her worst time of day and will feel completely uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact she is only just getting over Covid. But, this is her husband of 55 years, how can she not go? I’ve asked her if she’d like to go and the answer varies depending on if she’s mid ‘wobble’ or not.
I’m so overwhelmed by caring for her, grieving and trying to look at options for her in the future I’m not sure I’m doing what’s best.
Really looking for suggestions of ways to help her tremor firstly and how to process grief.