Dad recently diagnosed


#1
Hi, I would really like some help with the best way forward to dealing with my Dads diagnosis with PD. Im devestated and I know that end stage PD is THE worst thing that my Dad could ever ever imagine. Does that image of the future ever fade and do we learn to cope with a day at a time?

#2
Hi
just answered your post in meet and greet. I am sure someone is better experienced than me to answer you but if it helps the way we look at it is we don't know whats coming and something else could come along and whisk one of us off before the end of PD. You do learn to get along with it as the days and weeks and months go by as you learn to accept it.The panic and anxiety will subside and you find after a while you are just doing as normal as you can day to day things you were doing a few months ago. Their is lots of leaflets on this site to help you and a very good helpline if you need to talk to someone. Some do go to Parkinsons UK groups but hubby doesn't want to go there just yet. You will be made most welcome if you decide to go on your own and it may help you to go and talk to some of the people there if you have one near you. If you go to the top of this page and click on Local to you it will help you find your local group.

Sue

#3
Hi again Giraffes
I'm really sorry to hear you're so upset and I can completely understand. When my mum was diagnosed about 4 years ago I almost went through the grief stages and couldn't even talk about it without crying. As everyone says, you never know how the PD will go as its different for every person. We think my mum has had hers for over 10 years but she is still pretty active and can do everything herself. How old is your dad? For ages my family almost brushed the PD under the carpet but then we all decided the best thing for mum and everyone else was to be really open, ask questions and have a better understanding. He is still the same person and nothing will change overnight. You may find it helpful to ask your GP if there any local support groups, or take a look the events and groups pages on this site. Whatever you choose to do, you aren't facing this alone.

#4
Apologies, I didn't actually answer your question! Yes, you learn to take each day as it comes and enjoy and live in the 'now' not what might be, in many years to come. Don't waste your time together in anticipation of things that may be ahead or you may look back and realise it wasn't so bad. You just don't know what will happen so its best not to worry yourself unnecessarily :)

#5
Hello,

Thank you for your replies. At the moment I feel as though Im taking one step forward and two steps back and yes I feel completely as though Im in a grieving process. Although grieving for what Im not sure as he is 68 now. So if he has another 10 years relatively okay he would be 78 and the natural aging process would be setting in anyway.

I imagine its because I have been forced to face the inevitable ageing (needy) process in a simple sentance. "Ive been diagnosed with Parkinsons". Its reassuring to hear that hopefully he will be okay for a while yet and I think that overnight Im feeling that I need to live each day as it comes and the hear and now.

Yes tomorrow he could be hit by a bus, or indeed I could so grieving now lenghtens his condition. If that makes sense. I do feel a bit more positive with each new day. Last night I sobbed uncontrollably throughout the night. But today I feel stronger and more positive.

My Dad has no idea how Im dealing with this. Of course I have cried with him. As he has with me. But in our converstations I am back to the jokey teasy daughter. As I am aware he needs that from me. Of course my grief is for him, not for my loss.

He truely is the rock of my life and has been throughout it. I was bought up by him alone and he did an amazing job as a single Dad so our relationship is an incredibly close one. Yet even taking one step forward and two steps back is leading me somewhere away from the black place.

Today I sponsered Dave the worm and I hope to be able to be the non-parkinsons participant in trials when they are needed. I will look into local support groups, thank you. Its reassuring to hear that I will be welcomed as I live over 200 miles away from Pops so would be unable to go with him.

Thank you again

#6
Hi Giraffes, I haven't been around for a few days so please excuse the slow reply. Hope you are feeling alright and with each day learning to accept and try and see the positive sides a bit more. You are exactly right - you can't predict the future and anything could happen, but also a lot might not happen and it's sometimes not worth making yourself ill over the 'what ifs'. I think a local support group is a good idea and I keep meaning to find one near me and give it a go. Let us know how you're doing :wink: