Dealing with Dad

Good Afternoon All,


My father has had Parkinson's since 2007 and is cared for solely by myself as he is divorced from my mum. I am 25. Like many Parkinson's patients, he has declined in his condition drastically over the last 2 years and I get the impression he has just given up the fight. 

He hasn't got a parkinson's nurse for some reason and i can't seem to get a straight answer out of him as too why. From experience, how closely do you work with your PN's?

I tend to be able to cope with caring for him but recently it's gotten so much harder and my work and social life are being compromised. 

The elements which i'd really like some help/advice/support with are the following:

- Bedwetting. This is now a once/twice a night issue and has resulted in me having to buy new towels, sheets etc and I am constantly being woken up by poor old dad having to do a midnight sheet change. We have tried pull-ups (maxi absorb) but he says they dont work. He doesnt like the blue pads which go on the bed either. Does anyone have any suggestions?

- Hygiene. I find it very difficult that he smells, but it's no longer just body odour but urine and it's started to get to the point where he is used to it and has almost decided that he doesnt care about it, but care staff, family and friends all notice/mention it.


Whilst i am not new to being a carer, i feel like i am really REALLY starting to struggle and have little to no help from social services. I see a therapist to real with the guilt which i end up harbouring but i am not sure how to move on.


Any advice on the subjects above which i can put into place today/in the near future would be hugely helpful.



Hello HK

From experience with a child bedwetter I would say that it is much harder to wash off the urine than you would expect.  It needs a thorough wash not just of the bottom but of the back and legs as well.  Plenty of soap and warm water every time.

When pull-ups don`t work to prevent a wet bed it can be due to them not fitting closely enough so that a gap forms between the leg and the edge of the pants that allows the urine to escape before the pad can soak it up.  We got some ladies stretchy briefs to go over the pad and they kept the pad close to OH`s body - problem solved.  I helped the constant bed changes by making some draw sheets.  I cut old sheets into a suitable size. They could be tucked under each side of the bed to keep them in place and a a bed pad can be put underneath.  I found it was quicker to replace them than change the bed. I can`t remember where I got them but I bought protective duvet covers on-line so the duvet stayed dry.  They went under the usual duvet cover.

I hope that will help you.