Denial


#1

Hello all

I previously posted in the "Introductions" section. I won't repeat the story here, all I'll say is it's all still ongoing and not easy.

I'd like to know if anyone has had to deal with their partner's denial of anything being wrong and resisting going to doctor's to get checked out.

If so, what did you do about it, if anything? Is wait and see the only thing to do?

Thank you

 

 

 

 


#2

I have Parkinson's, so don't have the same experience as you have, but I also avoided the doctors for a very long time  after I began to suspect what my collection of odd symptoms might be. I eventually visited the GP when the impact of the symptoms became scarier than the diagnosis - I was struggling a lot at work - so I guess I worked through it on my own. Since my diagnosis,  I've talked to friends and colleagues who had come to the same conclusion as me long before I sought help; I wish I had talked to them and I wish they had talked to me, but you can't drag somebody out of denial - I guess you have to get the conversation started and then take it from there. I do wish that one of my friends had nudged me (persistently) in the right direction (in fact I wish I was a 'fighter' instead of an archetypal 'rabbit in the headlights' - but there you go!) I also, however, know why they didn't. If it is Parkinson's, it will keep getting worse and sooner or later your partner will have to deal with it, but I can see that it's a difficult situation for you to be in; I also think that you need to think about your own feelings, wishes and needs.   Best wishes, J


#3

Dear Jackson

Thanks so much for your response! 

I did not realise denial could be so strong. It puts things in perspective.

My - occasional - nudging is not going down well :-(

Thank you for your kind words.

G

 

 


#4

I am the wife of a man aged 52 who was diagnosed with Parkinson's when he was 38. We have a four year old boy and we are really struggling. I have to hold down an intense freelance job to keep things afloat and my husband is deteriorating daily. His illness has progressed quite drastically in the last 6 months. My son is confused about what is happening and I cannot offer him the support he needs as I have to go to work and my work sometimes takes me away for a week or so.

My husband is in denial about his illness and therefore unable to accept any of this is happening. In fact he often accuses me of increasing stress levels in the house and making his illness worse. He is no longer present, falls over all the time and is hard to communicate with. Whenever I want to discuss the future of our son or anything future related he shuts the conversation down or pushes it back on to me.

All of this happens in front of my son who I endlessly try and overcompensate with. I have no living parents and I am a 41 year old woman. Is there anyone out there who might know of a mediator/nurse/counsellor who could meet me and my family to build a practical solution to our situation. It's becoming insurmountable and I am at the end of my tether.

 

Louise CG


#5

Hi Louise,

Where do you live? I ask because we had a Parkinson's local Support worker come to our house and I wondered if you might have such a person, in your area? You can find out by looking on the Parkinson's UK website.

I have Parkinson's, but my husband was finding it hard to understand my condition and didn't know how to react. The lady who came to our house was very helpful and we found it so easy to talk things through, in the comfort of our own home. She also explained how we could get financial assistance and mobility aids, when necessary. She also left several booklets, which were most useful.

Hope you can find someone to talk to soon.

Twinks. 

 

 


#6

Hi LouiseCG,

I'm really sorry that the situation is becoming so stressful for you as a family. As Twinks mentioned, there is help out there. The easiest way to find out what your options are is to ring our helpline on 0808 800 0303 (open 9am-7pm Monday to Friday and 10am-2pm on Saturday). Our trained advisers will be able to talk you through the help available to you in your area, and you can also find a local adviser near you through our website (http://www.parkinsons.org.uk/content/parkinsons-local-advisers) to meet you and give you the support you need.

You also mentioned that your little boy is confused at being caught in the middle of this. I wonder if our children's book to explain the condition to children might be of use: http://www.parkinsons.org.uk/content/my-dad-has-parkinsons-childrens-book It aims to help them understand what their dad is going through and to reassure them.

Please let us know how you get on with the information you get from the helpline or the search for a local adviser who can help.

Best wishes,

Mara
Moderation Team