Driving dilema

I’m just looking for some advice if possible. My ex husband has parkinsons and I am concerned about his ability to drive. He is not able to clean his house, has not worked for 8 months, does not cook but is still able to drive. He is very very slow in everything he does which makes me question if he should be driving.
We don’t discuss medication and he has not seen a neurologist for over 3 years and is reluctant to seek any help or see a doctor. I think my only option is to contact the DVLA and report it but as his main thing in life at the moment is taking his son to all his football I am reluctant to do this but just keep worrying that he could cause an accident.
He has no family or friends to support him with this and I am not technically involved with his care but as we have 3 children 13,15,17 I feel I have some responsibility, can anyone offer any thoughts or advice if possible please.

My father would have been very reluctant to surrender the car, I suppose its the last bit of independence. My father’s driving was always on the risky side and eventually I knew he wasn’t going to be able to drive anymore, his reactions were too slow and his understanding of the road conditions were not as they should be e.g not braking quickly enough or not recognising traffic signals properly, green arrows left and right etc.

Have you actually sat in with him or have the children mentioned anything? You know him better than anybody here as to how he will take any enquiries about this. You could try changing the arrangements so your son goes with a friend? Your son’s dad could still meet them there. If that’s not possible maybe it’s best to be upfront and ask if he’s declared the illness to DVLA. Not only could he risk being uninsured in an accident, there is a risk of injury to all and a Police conviction and fine. DVLA may well refer it to his Consultant and he won’t get the licence back until the matter is discussed and the form signed. My father managed to get his back for three years. He also changed the car for a smaller automatic which he got through a special scheme. Maybe that might be another way in to the conversation for you.

Sorry to hear about your dilemma. I think anyone with Pakinsons must declare it to DVLA. However I’ve been trying in vain to contact them since last November. As I understand it he won’t automatically lose his licence. I wish you well.

I think it is still possible to drive safely even with fairly advanced motor symptoms of Parkinson’s. The issue is things like sleepiness and reaction times, which start to become dangerous.

His neurologist will have to periodically give an opinion to the DVLA about his condition in order to keep his licence, so they might be the best person to speak to in the first instance if possible, otherwise the DVLA. Of course the best thing would be to have an open and objective conversation with your ex (bearing in mind that driving is a sensitive subject for most men, myself included…)?

If he hasn’t declared his condition to the DVLA, my understanding is that’s illegal, would invalidate his insurance and is of course irresponsible when driving passengers. If, for some reason, the DVLA haven’t responded then he will need some sort of evidence from his neurologist that he is fit to drive - see link here:

Thank you for all your replies, I understand he informed the DVLA when he was first diagnosed but I’m not sure what happened since, that was 3 years ago. He has not seen a neurologist since he was diagnosed due to covid and he doesn’t seem interested in chasing this appointment up. I’m sure he would be better if he saw doctors and got issues sorted out but he doesn’t.

I think I will drive my son until I can get confirmation that he is safe to drive. I don’t think he would like the suggestion of me sitting in the car I think he finds me interfering and he does not want me to get involved. The children say he’s fine, just that he is really slow but I’ve seen him park and his car has dints in and wing mirror knocked off.

I have offered to contact his neurologist but he’s insisted that he does it, but he never does. I shall try and talk to him again and explain my concerns, thank you for the link

i have been diagnosed for16 years, i was concerned about my driving ability. i thought i was a good driver but i had to be sure , so i enrolled on y local RoSPA and went out once a week with an assessor, because of covidi was held up for over a year. i finally took my test and passed with a silver… at 66 years of age with pd. i suppose it is how bad you are . ou need to get an independent assessor. ask him if he would agree to that because you are worried about him. you could try your local RoSPA group for an assessment