Emotional Meltdown

Yesterday evening was very bad....

I have been having relationship probs with my husband and yesterday I told him about something that happened over weekend that he did and how it had really upset and humiliated me and my daughter and son-in-law.  Anyway, we have been having difficulties or rather I have with his behaviour especially last year!

I ended up sobbing and sobbing, getting very upset, feeling like I dont like my life and am very confused and lost.  I even tried to scratch at my face, Tremors getting really annoyed!

I took to my bed at 7 pm and am still here now at 11.45 am. 

I threw away all my meds, Rasagaline and the tremor pills, so now I am away and dont have any until I go home Satuirday!  I just dont care!

I really dont know if Parkinsons is responsible or I am genuinely in a relationship that has seen me more stressed and unhaopy than anything else.

Hi, Het,

I am so sorry to hear that you are so unhappy at the moment ! You obviously need to find a solution to your problems and staying in bed is not one of them.

Also, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to throw away your medication. However, I am sure a few days without it wouldn't make much difference, so don't worry about it.

I really hope you can resolve your present problems and regain some sort of peace of mind, although I am convinced that women with this disease are unlucky, as our other halves just don't understand the problems we face and generally offer little or no support.

Do keep in touch and cheer up. Take a walk in the sunshine if you have got some wherever you live. X

PS What medication are you taking for the tremor?

Thank you so much Redpoppy!  Trihexyphenidyl I think, i am here in Southbourne Dorset for week in our flat, i was getting my head around my DX and then marital probs kicked off....i cant cope with certain behaviour and it really hurts and upsets me.

I should get up i know, havent stayed in bed since when first DX and was down, i think i am really angry with husband for causing me so much upset, especilaly as i am struggling anyway.

Went to see a thatched 300 yr old cottage yesterday, not really a good time to move, but I keep thinking i need to do everything now in case i am really sick in future, it was a listed building, the most perfect house of my dreams!  would require too much money in future, i cried all way back, crazy because i am struggling with my marriage and here i am looking at property.  i am totally all over the place.

Thank you so much for writing.  x

You are welcome, Het.

I do hope you are feeling better about things this afternoon. Perhaps you did get out of bed and went for a walk in the sunshine !!!

Make sure you think carefully before moving out of your area, where presumably you have a good network of friends you can rely on.

At the moment there is a thread on your medication for tremor on the Forum. It would be interesting to know whether it agrees with you.

All the best. X

Hi Het

I had a wobbly day yesterday too! And all the sorts of feelings you describe - and that's without any relationship problems, so I can see it must have been a really bad day for you.

You sound rather better in your lunchtime post, so I hope you're calmer now; I certainly am. There's an art to riding through these bad-feeling patches, and i don't know I've always mastered it. But actively recognising the problem, then trying to stay calm often helps me. Deep breaths!

As redpoppy says, don't be too hasty now.

All the best



             Hello Het.

                      I always feel so sad to hear parky is destroying someone elses hopes and dreams, Iknow its easy for me to say you must fight back, and you must re-medicate urgently a good chat with your PD nurse and perhaps a appointment with your local comunity health care person  where you can discuss your problems if you take advantage of the help available  ,it may take a week or two but you will get back on track believe me, but please start back on your medicines , if you do not begin helping your body to help you then life will become very  awkward. and relationships do not fare  well when you are under such pressure.

                                                 Kind Regards        Fed

Hi Het, how are you doing now? I hope things have improved. I take it things dont go well if you tell your husband how you're feeling? I was gonna suggest writing a letter and you can decide if you wanna give it to him or not after you have written it, it can help to get your thoughts out of your head. I hope your back on your meds now. Good luck with everything and take care x

Dear Semele, Redpoppy,Fed and Suzynola

Thank you so much for taking trouble to write to me.

I am currently inDorset 2nd week having a break, yes, back on meds, have been feeling better since I stopped taking Mirtazapine week and a half ago.  I am feeling less sad and depressed, but I noticed that when chatting to my husband on phone today, after talking about a domestic issue - i.e. poss replacement of a chopping board at home and he was trying to say we dont need to.  Money is always a trigger in our relationship, he is very careful and manages well, but sometimes it gets out of hand and in the past I have felt that I am not able to make my own choices and I get very anxious.  Before PD this was a hiuge trigger for me and caused me to fall apart, now I feel that this subject is there and am trying to explain to him and remind him about respecting me in my own right to choose.  I felt uncomfortable talking about it on phone and I found my tremors coming on much more than they have done of late, even as I write about this I am feeling the change.  I wrote and told him about the anxiety and effect on me.  He has written back.  But that could be good, because normally hje is quick to defend.  I do feel vulnerable.

Yesterday I had a wonderful day at Swanage, Dorset, felt a bit lonely on my own and som times just stood in the street wondering what to do.  The weather was magical and lovely.  I miss my grown children being with me on holidays.

I hope you are all ok today, Fed, you always seem to positive when you write, hope your situation gets better soon. 

I am not reading so much about PD nowadays, but now and then I have a read.  Trying to get on with living.

I really appreciate what you say.- thank you.

Your friend, Het (real name Beverley) Het was the name my wonderful maternal grandmother was known as, her name was Violet.  x



Glad to hear you are feeling a little better and that you managed to convey your feelings to your husband and that he responded, I hope things can start to improve a bit more. Ah its so horrid when you are stressed and you can feel the tremor getting worse cos that makes you more panicky! Take care x


                       Good afternoon Beverly  (aka) het, I am so pleased your bringing order back into your life I am sure things will get better for you each day that passes,PD  is the master of masters as regards wrecking  lives and its vital to stay on track so good luck.

                   There was a venerable old transport  used by the RAF  called the  BEVERLY  Tough as old boots could take  many hits and survive and any damage could be repaired quickly.  ??


Thanks Suzynola and Fed!

Thanks for the info re the aircraft Fed!  Hope that analogy is ME...I am trying to fight it!

I feel better without the anti-depressants, think they were actually making me feel worse.

Oh must tell you what hubby and I did week before last, we took a trip on a power boat 90 mins, which goes out from Poole harbour and around part of the Jurassic coastline of Dorset! 

We were at front and were warned that if we didnt like bumps we should be at back!  Everything good moving thru harbour untuil we reached the open sea and we hit our first bumps as we went through a wake from passing boats.  Oh my gosh, it was scarey and i actually thought and said, I cant do this, my anxiety was moving up the thermometer fast!  I kept thinking made big mistake now I have PD my anxiety will go through the roof and I may end up jarring my back etc. as when you ride over bumpy waves you have to raise up slightly from seat and relax.  A bit like horse riding. 

Trevor, my husband, said you will be ok!  Could have raised my hand and moved, but thought "no" am going to see this through.  Well, it was incredible!  Only had a few mins of nerves coming back, as the boat turned a few sharp turns. 

Another victory over PD!  I recommend you trying...if you ever get to Poole, Dorset, the company is called Poole Sea Safari. 

The weather was great and stayed in harbour for evening, just so happened there was Nostalgia Theme, and live music on the Quay from 40s and 50s! 

Best wishes to you both, your friend Beverley!

Oh well done Beverley, thats awesome! =) thats a great acheivement, I hope you can have more moments like that! I hope your husband was happy to see you enjoy yourself too! x