Ever present thoughts


#1
My wife is newly diagnosed and whilst her symptoms are slight at present the near says she is at H&Y stage 2. Problem I have is that whilst she is very positive and we are trying to lead a normal life thoughts and fears about the diisease are never far away and I particulary get them unbidden when on my own or at night when I struggle to sleep. Always been a worrier and suffer from depression so sleepiness nights have been with me for years. Any ideas as to how to train your mind to push away the fears associated with my wife's condition would be appreciated. Also how do you train yourself not to keep asking if she is ok on a regular basis

#2
For what it's worth, I am also a worrier, it has taken some huge rethinking but what I arrived at was very simple: whilst worrying about the past and the future, I was missing out on today. If I was missing out on today then chances were so were all the people I love. The effect of this was that I was pushing everybody out of the way in order to maintain a hole to worry in.
I have had to let myself become less anal: result is that I am much happier, as is everyone around me.
There are moments/hours/days/sometimes even weeks when the Black dog takes over. These are difficult to avoid but do not last for ever. At the end of the day those little things we think matter very rarely do. All that really matters is the those close relationships with people who matter to us.
Keep talking.

#3
Hello Davech . I think we have all been there , and deep down always will be..

When my husband was first diagnosed we would lay awake , or he would wake me saying he just couldn't get it out of his mind .

Now this may sound silly but it worked for us . I would get him to start singing with me .. While concentrating on that it distracted his /our thoughts .. Didn't matter what time of night it was ..

ALL TOGETHER NOW !!!

"" Always look on the bright side of life DA DA , DADADADADADADADA .

I also find doing some deep breathing exercises , (it can take some time to get it right) but done properly while concentrating on that it relaxes you and helps you get back to sleep . Hope this helps you ..

#4
Hi D
have you considered counselling? I really think you would benefit from speaking to a person face to face.
best wishes
T

#5
I do hope you don't think I was making light of your situation because I wasn't .

Having had my own issues during my younger years with anxiety and depression.We also Looked after my mother when she had her stroke . My husband was by my side supporting me , Thankfully I am on the other side now . So I am speaking from experience , which is now helping me recognise many of the different symptons .

#6
Hi there, Yes, especially to begin with I wanted to know so much about the parkinsons disease, I read and read all about what might happen and what might not happen and what I concluded was as follows;

I cannot guess what will happen because parkinsons seems to be different in every individual , it can go on for years with not much change, or it can be very disabling, drugs can work or not work, but generally it does get worse, very slowly, over time and the docs cannot cure it but they can do a lot to remove symptoms.

Getting stressed makes the symptoms MUCH worse so the live a day at a time advice is key

Get adaptations as advised by your OT when the time comes, plan for the worst and hope for the best.

My husband says if you forget about being cured, then you accept the disease, if you accept the disease instead of fighting it and pushing it away, you can live with it quite happily

After a few years of pd my h and I decided we not accept planned invitations we would just tell people we would love to come to your party but can we just turn up if we feel like it? after a bit they understood and accepted this and it made life SO much easier. With pd you can feel ok one day or even hour and then feel awful and need mollycoddling and loving and then the next hour you're up on your feet and wanting entertainment. It helps the carer to remember this.hope that helps a bit love sunray

#7
hello....Mrs. T - I think you've got the right ideas for me....I'm trying to do just that...

As for Johnnie's suggestions....they wont work for me, as I can't breathe, or sing these days....keep my talking to a minimum, as the longer I talk the harder it gets to breathe...but I expect your suggestions would work well for most people on here ..

I learned a long, long time ago, when married to my mentally ill husband, to just let things go, when I go to bed at nite. The worries will be there in the morning ( just like housework). Be good to yourself, and sleep....

hope everyone has one of their better days today............xxx nonnameme

#8
Thanks all. I find website a bit of a double edged sword. Good to get supportive messages and useful source of information BUT can be frightening place when you hear of others conditions and problems.

Determined to put my depression problems in a box and lock it tight. need all my energies to be focussed on supporting my darling wife

#9
Morning (v. early as usual!)...

Firstly, this is such a good place to come in the middle of the night... may be like me today - not been the best - but simply mirroring what others experience... Interesting comment take two days... or even two hours... can be so different - sometimes you even think you've "cracked it", don't you!!.. Other times.. maybe when you've had a good night and think "maybe it's going to be a good day" and you get up and.....well, that's why it's so good to draw strength from one another here...

Secondly - and a bit more "up-beat" - I, too, am a worrier (and all the variations on the theme..) - but was referred to a 6-week Mindfulness class - really good "therapy" in all senses of the word (the problem is hanging on to these things when the course finishes and you've got nothing to look forward to..).. Anyway, we had to learn a mantra "parrot-fashion" and at least that has 'stuck' with me and serves as a reminder at times:- "Thoughts are just thoughts.. not facts"... must be what they call a 'truism' ('cos it is!).. but it's one I try to hang on to - like the rest of our meds/treatment it's not a cure, but it can "ground" you from nigh-on panic!

Thanks everybody for being "you" - means a lot.. bursardavid

#10
Hi everyone
Im a fellow worrier and (vampire) awake at night and drop to sleep in the day.i was dx with pd stage two.ive got all the non motor symptoms of pd plus motor.which strangely got worse after dx.stress related I think.to beat the stress I've bought. A caravan at Skegness to enjoy the time I've got now and build memories for my wife and kids.why worry about something that will happen anyway.worrying won't make any difference .if you can do something about it do it.take meds and arrange future events to look forward to.im fighting dx.swimming does help the constant cramps but it keeps you mobile.the jaccuzzi does help.im going to try to enjoy today who knows how I will be tomorrow .hope this helps sorry for going on.twins99

#11
I am well aware that this will sound a bit "hippie", but have you considered Transcendental Meditation. The basics help me a lot though it takes a bit of practice.
The idea is to clear the mind of all thoughts by repeating a two syllable soothing word that means nothing. You kind of self-trance. I had a job once which was very stressful and a chap taught me the basics. I also find that when I get a big shake on I can sort of cat-nap for 20 minutes and get rid of the shake, by using TCM. I know this may sound a bit odd, but it is worth a try, I find a lot of PD is "in the mind" and, (I use the word Hirim by the way), it also allows me to slip away when I need to regain my composure, I find sometimes that talking too much about the condition makes things worse, and I have to be in the right fame of mind to visit this forum, TCM helps with that too.
You don't need "wacky Baccy" either.
Just a thought, good luck.R

#12
even from a physicalist point of view it wouldn't be surprising if TM activity reduced the electrical activity, allowed cells to recover and allowed neurotransmitters to be replenished. i shall give it a go.

#13
Crumbs Turnip, That is all way beyond me, but I am pleased to think you support(you are supporting it aren't you?)the concept of TM...but it takes a bit of practice, don't be put off by a slow start.
The great thing is every little bout of "deep" relaxing creates a positive belief that you can at least semi-control the symptons and re-inforces the spirit before the next bout.
Stroking my cat helps too, Honest.
Good England win yesterday