Hi All,
My grandfather has had Parkinson's for 10years now, he is 84 yrs old and more recently has deteriorated.
My nan passed away 2yrs this April and since then my nans family have disowned my grandad. I live approx 30mins away from him and my cousin is in Leicester. We are the only family he has, my cousin does the dutiful sees him twice a year and that's about it whereas I have meetings with his carers, arrange social service visits, accompy him on hospital visits etc.
Over the past 6 mths my grandad living in a council house with carers that prepare his meals twice a day for him his health has deteriorated, he has been having many falls (alot he doesn't admit to), is becoming more forgetful with short term memory issues, struggles to dress/undress himself, missing medication and general care if himself disappeared.
Between new year he went to see my cousin in Leicester and I found out that he had a major fall falling up the stairs falling back onto his bottom and hitting his head- he was admitted to hospital for 5 days for concussion and during that time he walking went down to nothing. Since discharge I managed to get him into respite until the carers and s.s could arrange something long term. Since being in respite he isn't moving about or keeping himself active to loosen his joints and now his movements are to the shower and back daily, his personal hygiene is poor where he will not have a shower for days as he will not ask the carers to help him. He also suffers with urine incontinence and will sit in soiled pant and clothes until someone notices. I changed his pants and clothes yesterday when I saw him and asked does he not feel himself getting wet or realise his clothes are sticking to him wet to which he responded "I don't know" .
I have tried to get him out to day centres and such but as it's mainly full of women he isn't interested, he was discharged from his pd consultant in December as nothing more medically could be done for him and his understanding was that the pd wouldn't get any worse! The Parkinson's nurses and Physio won't see him as his not under a consultant and ATM I feel deflated and upset as everything I seem to suggest or advise he dismisses. We had asked for 4 calls a day for the carers to see him, help him undress and prepare meals. In the meeting he sat there and said very little and the s.s have stated they don't want to take away his independence so he can only have 3 calls.
I just don't know what to do or who to speak to anymore, my husband refuses to see my grandad as he is annoyed at the way he has no respect for himself or others and my cousin well apart from seeing him in hospital and speaking to him on the 3rd when he was discharged he has had nothing more to do with my grandad.
I think my grandad is showing signs of early dementia but it was hard enough to get him to admit he was depressed !
Can anyone shed some advice or are you in the same situation
My dear Lesley what a heart breaking story. Your Grandad is very lucky to have such a caring grand daughter.
Perhaps your Grandad has given up since he lost his wife, it must be so hard for anyone to lose someone who has been with them for so long. I am not qualified to give you any advise at all. Maybe you could call the helpline whose number is top left of your screen, they I am sure will have dealt with this many times and be able to let you see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep posting Leslie, this forum is a great place to pour your feeling out on and other members who perhaps are in a situation like yours will come and talk with you.
Much love goes out to you
Radz x
Perhaps your Grandad has given up since he lost his wife, it must be so hard for anyone to lose someone who has been with them for so long. I am not qualified to give you any advise at all. Maybe you could call the helpline whose number is top left of your screen, they I am sure will have dealt with this many times and be able to let you see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep posting Leslie, this forum is a great place to pour your feeling out on and other members who perhaps are in a situation like yours will come and talk with you.
Much love goes out to you
Radz x
Thank you radz. I will keep posting and will call the helpline
so sorry to hear all that Lesley , try not to judge your grandad too badly , when he said he didnt know , it could be that he really doesnt know . Parkinsons can be like that , you can lose the motivation and need mpore an more assistance but they dont realise it themselves . It almost sounds like you are nagging all the time , when all you are doing is JOGGING / REMINDING . do you understand what I mean . It's cruel for the sufferer and carer alike . Good luck Lesley and be kind to yourself at the same time