Getting lost in the detail?


#1

My husband who has PD has become very nit-picky in conversation and is now almost 'autistic' about detail and exactitude when communicating. Nothing can be assumed as obvious any more. If I say 'shall I heat the casserole now?' It would normally be understood as 'do you want your dinner soon?' but I find he now does not understand the intention unless I say 'Shall I heat the casserole now so you can eat it in about 10 minutes?'   It is driving me nuts as we are often at cross purposes - and then he goes off into endless explanations of what he meant and why.....and gets annoyed if I don't pay full attention and agree. I can be patient most of the time, but just sometimes the frustration gets to me.   Does anyone else experience this from the partner's or person with PD's perspective? What is the best way to deal with it?


#2

Hi 

I can hear your frustration as if it was my own. Some days I take it in my stride and take no notice but every now and then when you are having a bad day, tired or pushed for time the little things drive me mad. I don't have any answers sorry. I go out with my dogs for a good walk and try to remember how he must feel. Not always easy. 

 


#3

Hi dinky and Cheshire mum

   Maybe I can if not help at least give you an insight into what maybe going on with your oh minds, one of the symptoms of pd can be confusing or missing the nuances of day to day conversation it's like only hearing one side of a phone conversation you pick up general idea of what's said but don't understand the context it's being  said in , a bit like a dot to dot puzzle without the numbers .

add to the mix a mild case of OCD and a simple explanation can turn into a rambling protracted lecture about the most trivial of matters , mixed with the lack of facial expressions makes it come across as something of a rant almost LOL.

sorry I don't intend to make light of the situation but my long suffering wife has to put up with that kind of stuff on a regular bases as I have parky and Lewy body , we don't know we are doing it and I can assure you it's not done out of spite or malice , partly it may also be about the way we are spoken to as often I have found I am addressed like a child when spoken to "health professionals are the worst" , you then tend to over react in explaining things to show you are still competent ...... Though you usually end failing!

  Hope this helps in some small way    Live well and thank you for being careres    Cc :-))


#4

 

I get that snapiness sometimes, especially if someone else makes it difficult for me to reply

I went to the hole in the wall the other day, what was in there i couldn't account for so i went too the bank, at the bank there was a notice, ''please see a member of staff if you wish to have an appointment with the personal banker'', the personal banker was busy with a couple, so i went  and qued , i asked do i have to make an appointment, ''yes was the answer, but could i come back later'' ''we are about too have dinner''
.

She hadn't asked me why i wanted too speak too someone??

i saw a red like a  rag to a bull  when she said come back later we are having dinner, it was frustrating, all i wanted was to visually check what had gone in and out of my account, how could i come back later i have parkinsons and i promptly told her i do, it was enough trouble getting there. when someone stumps me it is like a mental block, how can i organise it.

 


#5

 

That was well put Cc, I can relate to the bit where you say you are spoken to 'like a child', it is so frustrating, My husband does that with me as if I don't understand things, it is just my body at the moment and not  at my mind that's not good, so looking at things from both sides I can sense the frustration trying to understand parkinsons fully, be it carer or sufferer.

Sheffy

 

I wish you both well dinky and Cheshire mum