My father was diagnosed with Parkinsons over 12 years ago - but its been in the last 4-5 years that his frailty, confusion and Parkinsons-related dementia has really taken hold. I am 38, single, and I do have two brothers who share the burden- as well as two carers who work on shift. I work full time for myself, but try to get down to see him at least 4-6 days per month. I am really struggling with the horror - and then attendent guilt - I feel when I take over his care and am required to help him on the toilet. He often has pretty horrendous accidents and when I am left to do this on my own, my brain sort of seizes up, I feel repulsion (if I am honest) at my father's horrendous state, knowing that he must hate his helplessness in front of his daughter even more (he used to be such a charismatic, atheletic person- and a very caring father who looked after me when my mum died as a teenager), makes it even worse. I feel anger, real terrible out of control anger, at having to say wipe him down and try to get him cleaned up. I don't think I can cope. Its just too much for me. It seems to be less of a problem for my brothers - i think my gender does have something to do it with it in relation to 'handling' his genitals and general nakedness. I feel I am a terrible person, which just adds to the sadness of seeing him disappear so entirely from view. I'm 38 now, single, and as my mother died of Cancer when I was 16 (something I saw far too up close and personally in the room next door to mine) this is bringing it all back but also, means I have so little parental support. I wonder if I can ask if anyone shares these feelings, and if there perhaps is somewhere I could go to talk it through. Is anger and revulsion an ok feeling at all to have? Above i feel so angry at the universe - and its been going on for years now, but still I can't cope. Any help hugely appreciated. Thanks for listening.