Haven’t been on for ages

Hi everyone
I haven’t been on here for ages, I have been really struggling not just with lockdown but everyday life.

I think it stems from losing my beloved Ben (Yorkie);of nearly 14 years during lockdown.
He was my rock. Since he went I can’t seem to cope very well with anything.
I really don’t know where or who to talk to.
I am worried to mention anything like this to anyone in case they think I am mad.
I have also had a couple of falls one has resulted In me now having an ulcer on my leg which I had to fight to get go to have a look and start getting it treatment.
I am very depressed and I find myself crying all the time , all the gp is interested in is giving out tablets.
I find I am getting a bit paranoid to, could this be my Parkinsons medication.

Well hello to everyone I haven’t met and everyone stay safe.

Any suggestions on what my next step should be.?

I have telephone review with my Parkinsons nurse on the 18th

Hi Bub. I am very sorry to read about how difficult life has been for you recently. A virtual hug from me!
It is awful to lose a pet that you have had for a long time. My own cat, who was 13, died just before the lockdown started.
You do need to talk to somebody, and nobody is going to think you are mad. I think you should ring the Parkinsons advice line. I’d also recommend the Samaritans which helped me through a very rough patch in my own life many years ago.
Best wishes.

It is so sad when a pet dies - I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss.

I too am suffering with depression, anxiety and paranoia and I feel also I am going mad. Am having counselling (not helping), done CBT, on anti depressants - so you have my full sympathy. I wake up crying most mornings, not sure if it is due to Parkies, DBS or meds, but I wish I didn’t feel this way.

Hi @Bub1, :wave:

It’s lovely to see you back on the forum. :slightly_smiling_face:

I’m really sorry for the loss of your beloved Ben, it’s completely understandable why you haven’t been coping well. I second the advise that @Jane_L, please take advantage of our helpline service and speak to one of advisers so that they can provide you with the right information and support- just as a reminder you can reach us on 0808 800 0303. The Samaritans is also a good shout, please visit their website for more information here: https://www.samaritans.org/

It’s great that you have a telephone review this week with your Parkinson’s nurse, I’d strongly advise that you be completely honest with her/him about how you’ve been feeling so that you can receive the right kind of help. More than anything, please remember that you are not alone and we are here to help in any way we can.

Please take care and don’t be a stranger to the forum.

Best wishes,

Hi and welcome back @Bub1, I know how you feel about your pet as we had one of our Cats developed kidney problems during Lockdown and we had to have her put to sleep back in July, it certainly knocked me for six. At least you had the piece of mind to come back on here to share what you’ve been going through and i’m pleased to see that you’ve had some good responses to it. I believe I may have spoken to you at some point in the past as your name is familiar. See what your telephone interview comes back with and then get back on here and share with us. If you are able to get out and about, are there any social clubs in your area you could make friends at. Take care and stay safe.


So So sorry to hear about your loss, only people who have dogs or cats no how you feel. I know we have a lot on with pd don’t want to be personal but some of us are not getting any younger, but my neighbour Val lost her little yokie and she is late 70s, so she did look for another Yorkie. Now I know if you get another one they will not be the same but Val took on this little Yorkie Sally and at first it was very hard as Sally was an ex-breeding dog, she did not like being on a lead, she did not know how to play with toys, The thing is Bub Sally gave her hope and not beng a pup Val could give her cuddles and love, Val has not got PD but she doe’s have health problems. So Bub food for thought let the forum know how you get on. x

Hi @Bub1.
No you are definitely not mad but you are grieving for your loyal Ben.
I’ve had these issues recently after losing my 16 year old furry wing man Sammy at the end of July.
I stopped doing my 12000 steps and went down to around 300 preferring to be on my own and no matter where I went, out to cut the lawn, putting the bins out I just felt empty because he wasn’t there any more however I know it was the correct decision for him and that he had the best possible life we could provide.
The vet asked me if I wanted his ashes or a cutting of hair but I declined that and asked for a paw print in ink and they obliged and I helped to push his paw onto the card.
After a few weeks of pondering what to do with it maybe frame it or something I took it to my local tattoo artist and had it put on my arm and I’m beginning to get my exercise again just knowing that in a small way he’s still going everywhere with me.
You will find your way of coping of that I’m positive so please don’t be afraid of talking no one will think anything of it and if you do come across someone who does then just pity them for never having a bond with their pet and being able to remember his character and the funny ways he found to communicate with you and wrap you round his little paw.
Take care
Tommy :pill::pill::pill:™:paw_prints:

Thank you everyone.
I think it’s nit just Ben at the moment it’s everything.
I cancelled the review tomorrow with Parkinson’s nurse I will explain later and have booked it for next Friday which I will be keeping.
I am trying to be positive and work through things but I can’t.
I am thankful that I have some nice people on here that will listen. So thank you.
It’s got to the pint now where everyone that was helping me including my son is not helping me.
Will explain all later

I am back.
Ben was my rock and we went through a lot together.
It seems as my so called boyfriend/friend no longer wants to help me with things and has accuse me of being paranoid and said I should act like a 58 year old. And to get some pills after I had a go as he promised to take me to the cemetery tomorrow to visit my sisters grave to busy now he is.
My son has now got fed up with helping. And has decided I am now demanding to much and he has his own life.
I had a fall in the bedroom and cut above my eye.
To top it all I have a leg ulcer.
This is why I want to givenip

Hi @Bub1, don’t give up now, you’re over the worst you’ve got to give yourself a good talking to. Take a good stock of yourself but no more talk of giving in, calling it a day, you are better than that. Find your inner Bulldog spirit and fight it.


You will get through it Bub1 trust me x

I really don’t think I can I am trying so hard to be positive and stay upbeat.
I have been through so much in my life from an abusive first husband etc
I don’t think I have ever cried so much in my life.

Hi @Bub1,

I am so sorry to hear to hear you have been struggling recently. I would strongly encourage you to get in touch with the Parkinson’s UK helpline and speak to one of our trained advisers, who will be able to offer you further support and advice. They are back open on Monday at 9am - give them a call on 0808 800 0303. @Reah also mentioned contacting The Samaritans - they are open 24 hours a day and you can call them for free on 116 123.

As you can see from all the comments on this post, you are not alone and we are all here to support you, so please take care and remember there is no shame in asking for help if you need it.

Best wishes,

Emily - moderation team

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Thank you
I will phone them on Monday.
I am so glad that I have some nice people on here

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Hi again @Bub1, being on a Forum you get to know who your real friends are even if we are in cyberspace/ether !! This is one Forum where people get behind those in need of moral help, as you say, there are some really nice, helpful people on here. I hope you get the help you need and don’t forget to come back on here and let us all know how you got on. We’re all here to support you.


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Don’t give up @Bub1. Ask yourself what would Ben want me to do? Better days will come. x