Instead of 'telling' them - your friends and family - would you feel more comfortable writing them a letter? That way you get to think about what you want to say, and how to say it. As one member said - it is also your chance to educate your friends. Yes, be honest but you can also point out the positives.
What you are saying is you're concerned about your friends' reaction. By writing a letter - email - you give them chance to digest your news. Someone whose first reaction is fear... given time might adapt.
With your children I would sit down with them and give them the opportunity to ask questions... either then or later.
Give yourself time. Do it when you're ready.
I wish you well.