I recently wrote on the forum in regards to my dad who was hospitalised due to wandering and not knowing where he was, who he was or who my mum was. After spending 2 weeks in hospital and the hospital being no help whatsoever, my mum too my dad home. They allocated 2 carers a day to help with personal care. It has been nearly 2 mnths now and they are still waiting on a social worker to be allocated. My mum adjusted the house, moved his bed downstairs etc as the hospital said he should not be doing stairs. They said he is not safe to go out alone. And that he should walk with a walker. My dad has refused all these things. Waits for my mum to leave the house and then goes upstairs and baths himself even tho he has carers doing personal care. He will not use the walker and then has multiple falls. My mum has gotten home to the house being wide open and empty and hes taken himself for a walk. She is at a loss as to what to do. He doesnt want caring for. His confusion and hallucinations have got extremely worse recently and they believed he had another infection. Today he fell and cut his head open. Was taken to hospital and they have confirmed that there is no infection and in there words ‘this is just him now’. He is becoming more aggresive to my mum. He will not listen or help himself. He will not listen to my mum. She is at a complete loss as to what to do? At night he is considerably worse. He kicks off and gets aggresive if she tries to help him. She no longer feels she can care for him and feels he would benefit from a home. However hospital are saying he has mental capacity and therefore cannot force him into one? Any advice is massively appreciated thank you!
Hi Stacey, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like your family is going through an incredibly tough time. Please know that you’re not alone.
We hope that others in this community will be able to support you with their experiences and advice, but we are also here if you need us.
We have some information about home care and care homes, including stories from others, on our website here: Home care and care homes | Parkinson's UK
Our helpline team can give also give advice, and you can ask to speak to one of our Parkinson’s nurses if you would like any guidance. It’s available to anyone affected by Parkinson’s and is free to call: 0808 800 0303.
It’s really important that you and your mum take care of yourselves too. You can find out what support is available to you as well as advice about looking after your mental health and wellbeing on our website here: Supporting someone with Parkinson's | Parkinson's UK Our helpline is also available to you.
We hope this information helps and that you’re able to access the support you deserve.
Sending all our love,
The Parkinson’s UK Moderation Team
Hi stacey. This can be a difficult one to navigate for your mum and yourself, but as dad is now home. Your contacts must be your gp service and social work dept. First off your mum is entitled to a carers assesment of her needs, thats done by a social worker, that can be done by a duty social worker , named social workers come later. All the risks to your dad and your mum are recorded in this form, and reviewed by a team who will assess what help your mum and dad both need. I have just recently gone through this myself, and was quickly given respite hours and help each week, things deteriorated at home with my husband also. I was constantly phoning gp, pd nurses, and social work department. It always seems a fight to get the assistance required but you must persevere for both your own sake and to ensure your dad gets the best help and treatment he deserves. For me, it was a lot of phone calls and family intervention that eventually got us to where we are now. Hwp is still in hospital being assessed, and wont be home in the very near future it seems. Just keep phoning and detailing all the problems to your gp or practice nurses. They should lead the process for you because you need to be ok to help your dad/husband
Hi! Thank you for your message. So sorry to hear what your going through too. We have been waiting 2 months now for the carers assessment and also a needs assessment for my dad but they dont seem to be in much of a hurry to help tbh. I understand they are busy etc but my mum is definitely not coping. They have told my mum he is infection free purely from a swab they took of a wound on his leg. They have done no bloods, no urine sample so im assuming an infection could be anywhere in his body but they have just sent him home 