Hi I’ve posted here before and people have been very helpful. I am wondering if someone can help me understand why this happened.
My friend was diagnosed 3 years ago, saw very little of a neurologist due to covid. He had been living with depression, anxiety, he stuttered and shook, he had Lypodimia, he wasn’t looking after himself or the house.
He lived alone.
His mobility declined rapidly in the last month, his son stayed with him this weekend and said he couldn’t get upstairs and slept on the sofa. I contacted Occupational therapy and he was on the list for someone to come out and assess him. Then on Thursday he was found at home after a fall and because he wasn’t found he was too ill to recover and passed away on Friday morning.
He was 57 diagnosed at 54, I know he was taking medication I don’t understand why his decline was so fast, we were told he could live with Parkinson’s for a long time. Can anyone shed any light on the situation please ?
I am really sorry to hear this, @poppop690. What a very difficult situation. Parkinson’s affects people in different ways, and how quickly the condition develops will also differ from one person to the next. You can read more about how Parkinson’s progresses here. Coronavirus has, of course, affected all of us in many ways. I hope that our members will be along to lend you some support very soon.
It might be a good idea for you to contact our helpline who can talk to you and refer you to other support during this challenging time. Give them a call on 0808 800 0303,
I was so sorry to read of the death of your friend made all the more shocking I suspect because there doesn’t appear to be any logical explanation. I’m not a doctor and certainly no expert but have had a few thoughts based on my work experience which may perhaps help a bit.
You are quite right when you say people can live a long time with Parkinson’s, it is not in itself life shortening. It does not however make one immune to other factors which may have perhaps had an impact on his health leading to a decline in his Parkinson’s symptoms. In your friend’s case you said he was living with anxiety and depression, these can make life extremely difficult because you can’t function properly. It becomes hard to make even the smallest decisions which ties in with your saying he didn’t look after himself or his home. You don’t say, and might not know, what caused his fall but the shock of falling may have prevented him from trying to seek help (assuming he might have been able to) and/or his low mood may have exacerbated his feelings of helplessness. Maybe he had just had enough and gave up. I appreciate that is not an easy thing for you to read nor does it give you a clear cut or straightforward explanation, but sometimes a death leaves more questions than it answers. The actual cause of death is probably fairly straightforward but if you look beyond that, the explanation as to why it happened can be infinitely more complex. Yes it may have been his Parkinson’s symptoms went into an unexpected rapid decline, it is not common but it can happen. Equally his depression and anxiety could have been a contributing factor… Maybe it was simply an unlucky chain of events. You may never truly know and that is a hard thing to come to terms with. I hope my post has not added to your distress but it may perhaps give a different perspective which in time, when the pain isn’t so raw will enable you to find some kind of peace with the circumstances surrounding your friend’s death.
I don’t think he was able to get up due to his lack of mobility, he leaves 3 teenagers and I’m certain he wouldn’t give up, although life was a struggle he would never admit it but from my point of view it was. They said cause of death was due to multi organ failure due to him being on the floor so long.
I suppose I’m just curious to know why his mobility declined so quickly but obviously we will never really know. I don’t know what caused his fall it looked like he was heading towards the staircase and he may have tripped/slipped in the from room and he banged his head.
Hello poppop690
I always think the hardest deaths are those that leave you wondering, as your friend’s death has you. You were clearly a good friend who cared about him and I wish I could give you some answers. Sometimes the only reason that makes sense, is that it was simply his time. It doesn’t answer any questions or stop you wondering if only this and that, perhaps the outcome would be different, but it is a good a reason as any.
I hope his children are OK and that you can find a way to be at peace with his passing.
Tot
The lack of regular medical attention due to COVID likely played a role. Stress, anxiety, and neglecting self-care can also expedite the progression. It’s commendable that you reached out for occupational therapy support; unfortunately, timing can be crucial in these situations.
When dealing with loss, considering eco-friendly funeral options might offer solace. Websites like greenfarewells.com can guide you on sustainable ways to honor your friend’s memory. It’s a gentle way to commemorate someone special while being mindful of the planet.
Remember, you did what you could, and your care and concern for your friend shine through. Take solace in the memories and the impact he had on your life.
