Hi :)

Hiya, im Suzy from Stoke on Trent. So pleased to have found somewhere i can talk to people who are going through the same things. I.. With the help of my son, look after my dad, he is 69 and has had Parkinsons for 20 years. Although, my dad has been extremely lucky, apart from tremors and mood swings, he has spent most of those 20 yes living pretty much a 'normal' life. That is until this year, as years go it has been pretty crap, and its hit me this year, just how much i need my dad to stay around, and although i have been preparing for the worst for a number of years, im so not ready. Earlier this year Dad was rushed into hospital with kidney failure, he was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease. At that time we were threatened with police as my dad refused to go into hospital, but luckily we talked him around, but he discharged himself the next day, refusing treatment. Two weeks ago, he fell and broke his wrist in two places, each day he asks why his cast is on, he doesn't remember a thing, falling, xrays, nothing. He only takes one tablet, 4 yltimes a day for PD, he refuses all his other medication, blood pressure, water tablets and a mass of others. The doc has now stopped prescribing them also as its a waste. I just feel that this year he has deteriorated so quickly, i hate seeing it :( He used to be a builder by trade, he has built no end of houses that we have lived in. To see what that strong man has become, to see a man who used to throw huge bags of cement about slowly turn into a man who struggles slipping on shoes. Its unbearable. He has told me time and time again that he doesn't want to be here anymore, he wants it all to end, which in a way, i can totally understand. But then i loose the only man that holds the whole of my heart. Parkinsons is an evil disease, i hold my hat off to all of you who are living with the illness, who are caring for someone etc, in my eyes, you are all stars xxx

Hi, Suzy --

I just read your post this morning and was touched at several points.  I understand the pain of watching a parent decline and lose the will to live.  My father died of cancer at only 68, and from February of this year to September 23, the date of her death, I saw my mother slowly decline under the results of a series of strokes.  But she was 95 and said in some lucid moments that she was ready to depart.

One thing that struck me as I was reading your post was that I may one day be in your father's shoes.  I have had PD for 16 years and am doing fine, physically living the same life I always have.  But when I hit the 20-year mark or 22-year or whatever, it could be that I, too, will suddenly take a downward turn.  Now is the time to do what I want most to do (while I am able).  I have long been aware of that and am currently planning a lot of travel.  But what you caused me to see is that I should also be preparing myself mentally and emotionally (as well as one can) for the future.

You mentioned your son's assistance.  I hope he continues to be of help and consolation, for the next generation is what most gives me hope.  Every time I get a phone call or an email from my son or one of my young grandchildren, my outlook brightens. 

Wishing you the best --