Home or care home

Hi. Well we have to decide whether mum is going home or in a care home and its the hardest decision ever. mum hasnt been at home now for 3 months- hospital and now intermediate care. she has Lewy Bodies Parkinsons and severe Arthritis so really struggles with movement. Mum is very confused at the moment and the social dont feel she would be safe at home on her own with just carers 4 times a day and are worried about her bring on her oen overnight. Mum and all of us are desperate for her to go home but worried at the same time. Do we give mum a chance to go home or do we follow advise and find 24hour care?

I know some of what you are going through - it's like choosing between a rock and a hard place.....

From my own experience the decision was made when things had got very stressful, if I had that time again I think I would have decided to suggest the move to the Nursing Home earlier. After Mum moved one of the things she commented on was that she hadn't quite realised how worried she was on her own overnight.

If you look on the Forum under the section 'Using the Forum' on 26th August 2015 Budgies posted a thread called 'Care Homes' which prompted a discussion between Budgies and I on the difficulties of the decision that you are having to think about now. I gave some hints that someone gave me about what to look for if you decide the Care home route meets everyone's needs best....

Take care,



Hi to everyone

I am new to the forum but believe my family have a common issue to deal with.

My father-in-law currently cares for my mother-in-law, who has Parkinsons and well as other health issues.

Her mobility is very limited and in fact cannot get around without the arm of someone supporting her. My father-in-law is an absolute saint and does everything he possible can to help his wife, but the reality of the situation is that he too is getting fragile [ late 70's] and is totally exhausted, both mentally and physically.

We now need to take charge of the situation and provide him with the best advice before he too falls seriously ill, so need to understand what respite care-home support is available to take temp care of her, whilst giving him the opportunity to regain his strength and get some much needed sleep !

I know the Social Care system can be time consuming, so i am reaching out to anyone on this forum who can provide some advice/feedback based on their own experience.

We need to understand what respite care-home support is available and how it is funded as I assume we have to fund if we have the savings ?

Thanks to anyone in advance who can help - Kevin


I think you need to ring Adult Social Care and ask for someone to visit and assess the situation.

This will lead to the appropriate choices and funding being spelled out to you.

Alternatively, ring Age UK who will give excellent, well-informed advice.

A third avenue is to contact a Parkinsons Support Worker...number from the helpline.

Good Luck!


Thanks GG, much appreciated. lol




Age uk were totally useless when we contacted them, My grandfather was without electricity,heat or a means too cook with one winter  for 3 months which happened too be a harsh winter with snow much of it, the council decided they'd re do his kitchen & bathroom, But they ruined his cooker and the supply too it and his heating, and removed the heating( a halogen lighting system) out of his bathroom which had been fine. they also were in the middle of switching contracts and in dispute with contractors so no work was carried out for over a Month.

We contacted my Grandfathers houseing too complain he's 95, we contacted age uk, they asked is he a veteran if so contact saffa and put the fone down.

Hi Kevin,


In your case, the recent Care Act strengthened the obligation on the local authority to support the carer  Therefore, as well as assessing the needs of the cared for they should do a Carers' Assessent which, even if you don't qualify for free help, means that the carer can discuss the options available and make a plan iwith the help  of   Adult care. who should know what's available locally..