How do people keep going?


#1

Im sorry to be a downer but Im really struggling and I know theres lots of wise, experienced people here, sorry if this isnt the right place to post this. Im just feeling like I dont want to have to keep struggling and fighting, Ive had enough of everything. I still dont know whats happening with my health but at the moment I dont even care, I just dont wanna deal with it anymore, whatever it is. The only good thing I felt I had was my boyfriend although that has been tough and I think its ended now (hes left me hanging) and Im gutted cos I tried so hard, I cant help but blame me and my health again and nobody will wanna put up with me. When other people have breakups they can try and have fun with other people and get out more but I cant often manage that, I do get out but I cant do too much and Im wary of making plans cos I feel awful if I have to cancel if Im not well enough. How do you keep going? Cos I know lots of people on here will have been through awful times and have somehow kept going. I know Im lucky I can still get out sometimes and I can walk most of the time but Ive been ill for as long as I can remember and things have gone wrong as long as I can remember and Im just tired of dealing with it all. I dont feel I can look forward to a life alone with poor health, that just scares the crap out of me to be honest. I just dont know what to do. Sorry if it seems like Im being dramatic, Im just having a really tough time, Ive got a viral infection too so Im feeling even worse than usual! Thank you


#2

 

Suzy I'd say.

Put yourself first, do all the things you enjoy doing and make a point of doing them.

You'll make new friends and experiences and interests along the way.

Your fella, let him worry about you,not you worry about him

if he's the man for you then he wont pass you by, if not then it's not your loss it is his.

My nan used too say 'there's a lid for every pot'!!

Waiting seem's too be the worst part of this journey, it's all steps along the way even if some of them seem small. i'm nearly there, you will be too.


#3
Thanks for the advice, I have got a few friends and im trying to arrange to see them, I just hate letting people down if im not well enough. Thats one thing thats nice about being with someone, you dont have to always go out, you can just watch a film and enjoy each others company. Well he obviously isnt worried about me, he said all this stuff last night, didnt know if he wanted to be with me or not, seemed like he was gonna have a panic attack and left, and ive not heard anything since. Im gonna have to end it if he doesnt even though I dont want to cos my body really cant handle the stress. I just hate feeling like nobody will ever stay with me when they have to deal with my poor health even though I know theres good things about me too, but it doesnt seem enough. As much as ive been wanting to find out whats wrong for definate I know theres hardly any chance it will be something curable and I just dont wanna have to suffer anymore

#4

I know it's scary by yourself . I am ,apart from grown up kids . But you have to take 1 day at a time and use your friends to keep you sane ! My appointment is tomorrow so hopefully will find out  what is in store for me . Scared  shitless but 2 close friends coming with me and will work through it with me . I survived a divorce after 20 yrs of marriage I can survive this! 

Keep in there and it will get better

x


#5

It sounds like you have a serious depression and you need to see somebody about it.  Do not give into it.  The darkness there will consume you.  Don't get comfortable with your depression. Reality is never as bad as the insanity that you have renting space in your head.  There is no shame in seeking help to evict it.

I wish you better days.

 

 

 

#6
Thanks Kittens, good luck with your appointment. I cant imagine dealing with a divorce after such a long time, im always amazed at the strength of people, im just tired of trying to be strong and brave though. Thanks wpg, yeah ive always struggled a bit with depression just as a reaction to how my health has affected my life and when something else happens like this it just pushes me over the edge. Ive got a doctor's appointment next week anyway so I will tell her, I started CBT recently but I dont think its for me. I really dont wanna go back on antidepressants though cos they made me feel horrid and were so hard to get off of. Ive made some plans with people and I just hope im well enough to stick to them

#7

Suzy, You have a private message smile

Take care lass


#8

Now have diagnosis of pd . Said I was young onset . Started on requip xl with domperidone if causes nausea. 

On 2 mg building up weekly or 2 weekly if side effects . Upto 10 . Anyone else on this ?mat what level should I start noticing?

feel happier now I know 

 


#9

Well Im glad you have answers at least Kittens, sorry you have pd though, I hope these meds work for you x


#10

Dear Suzynola7, I have sent you a private message.  Take care,


#11
Thank you for your support everyone x

#12

Hi kittens

I was dx June this year n am now on 10 mg requip xl , I to had to slowly build up and did not get much out of it till I got to 6 mg  except a queezi tum and a bloated feeling , did not get anything to help with that and still suffer a bit now. For me the requip xl has been a wonder as most of my symptoms have gone and I'm back to work full time even my thinking and memory have improved though not totally right I'm able to function which is a big step forward for me.i still get the odd twitch n have bad days things are pretty good for me at the moment and nuro suggested going to 12 mg though as long as I can function as I am I'd rather not tempt fate by taking more .

i hope this has been of some help and if I can help with any thing ells just ask n I will help if I can.

Live well   Cc


#13

thanks for replying , its helpful to hear when it kicks in, consultant was v nice said would get me back to work in a couple of months .seeing pd nurse in 8 weeks when meds kicked in so can see if need tweeking .my 21 yr old son not taking it all v well. kicked off this morning saying its not just about me ! did you have problems with your children accepting it?says hes trying to help me but has funny way of showing it

 


#14

 

hi Kittens

I have found it very difficult for my family too accept that i am ill let alone the prospect that i might have parkinsons ,they just seem too dismiss the idea that i am ill with it's just a few aches and pains of 'oh i get that' or 'what sort of ill' when i tell them i feel unwell, i grow tired of explaining the same explanation over a year.

there are other doubters among friends and acquaintances of 'your too young' and '' my aunt 10 times removed had it bit never suffered with that'', it seems sometimes how can you win, dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

I certainly wouldn't be going through all this for a year if i wasn't ill there are so many things i wish i was able too do.


#15

Hi kittens 

No probs with my family as my kids all grown up with there own kids to worry about , your son is right in some ways as it is everyone in a family who suffers when a loved one is dx with pd, I sat down with my kids and told them what pd was and how it was with me , answer there questions as best I could n told them to look at internet if They wanted to know more, I've done the same with work mates n there fine with it, we have a laugh about my shaky hands on bad days n it helps me to stay positive ( we are not a politically corrected bunch ) lol

Maybe you can sit down with him and work out a plan of action to include him in your care and encourage him to come here to find out more about what your going through,if you can engage him in your pd life maybe he will come to termes with it,better,

 

well sea angler I have a similar prob with my boss he thinks any one who's sick is just swinging the lead and just needs to get on with it. Mind you he gets a cold n spends a week in bed lol,

it must be hard not having diagnosis as you have no "" proof " n people always think the worst

well I hope things work ot for you both   Live well.  Cc


#16

Hi kittens 

No probs with my family as my kids all grown up with there own kids to worry about , your son is right in some ways as it is everyone in a family who suffers when a loved one is dx with pd, I sat down with my kids and told them what pd was and how it was with me , answer there questions as best I could n told them to look at internet if They wanted to know more, I've done the same with work mates n there fine with it, we have a laugh about my shaky hands on bad days n it helps me to stay positive ( we are not a politically corrected bunch ) lol

Maybe you can sit down with him and work out a plan of action to include him in your care and encourage him to come here to find out more about what your going through,if you can engage him in your pd life maybe he will come to termes with it,better,

 

well sea angler I have a similar prob with my boss he thinks any one who's sick is just swinging the lead and just needs to get on with it. Mind you he gets a cold n spends a week in bed lol,

it must be hard not having diagnosis as you have no "" proof " n people always think the worst

well I hope things work ot for you both   Live well.  Cc


#17

Kittens

Your son needs time to come to terms with the illness that you have, pd does indeed affect everyone within the family

When i was diagnosed with pd  last year at 47 yrs old  a few weeks later my mother was also diagnosed with pd , it was very difficult for me to sit down with my children and tell them both there mother and grandmother had pd , my neurologist gave me a information booklet published by parkinsons uk that explained all about pd  and i ordered some literature from puk and gave that to my children to read  which i believed helped them understand , my children are 25 and 26 the eldest one talked about it and said to me that whatever happens  in the future we will deal with it then he said don't worry about something thats 10 or more years away , very wise words , but the younger one did not say much he tends to bottle things up more than the eldest my pd nurse did say she would talk with them if they needed so there is support out there

 


#18
Just an update, im doing a bit better now, ive been seeing friends and stuff and ive been a bit frustrated cos I cant physically manage all the things I wanna do! But at least im getting out a bit

#19

 

Good for you !!.


#20

Good to hear your ok Suzy.

TC big grin