Hope you have a better week, this week. As you know, I too, have a difficult marriage, but nothing to do with P. (Funny that both our husbands are called Colin!)
I was once at a wedding, in Whitby and the bride's father said something in his speech that has stuck in my memory. He said "Marriage is like the sea.....sometimes it can be rough and the waves come crashing in and other times it can be very calm and smooth. You can expect marriage to have similar ups and downs!"
Hi Benji, just read your post, I look at it in a slightly different way. My hubby obviously knows I have parkinsons but I don't want him to feel I am ramming my symptoms or involvement in the committee down his throat. I feel he has enough to cope with without involving him more, it is he who has made the decision not to attend the parkinsons meetings with me anymore, perhaps he is sick of it, I don't know. Not an easy subject to approach, he is not a man for being able to speak his mind
Thanks for your input, much appreciated - Sheffy x
Thanks to all of you no matter how i try to involve him he does not want to know he thinks i should manage everything his way and yet i am the one with pd not him. And i know one day he will end up being my carer but untill then i will manage everything my way i know of no other way. He dose not even know how to mange his own condition.
Hi BB reading your posts makes me sad, why? because i really love my Husband we have been married for 34 years (2nd marriage for us both). Yes of course during that time we have had our differences and when he was seriously ill in 2014 due to a Brain Tumor and Hydrocephallus he changed ...not only physically, falling over, incontinent, but the mood swings were terrible, he said the most awful things to me, which a lot of women would have had trouble hearing. I could not begin or would want you to know some of the things he said ( and at this time we had no idea that he had a Brain Tumor) He knew i was also poorly with PD but it made no difference....somehow i realised that this was not my darling shouting and swearing at me and i found myself saying to him " you may not love me but i will always love you and be here for you despite how you may or may not feel about me" i received no reaction. I am not one to lose my temper ever but i shut myself in the bathroom and just completely lost it....i was so devastated that my man could have spoken to me so cruelly. I believe it scared him and he begged me to come out of the bathroom after hearing me throw a few things around!! eventually i did and we both cried when he asked me to get him help. I am feeling very emotional as i write this.....but I love him with all my being and after many weeks of trying to get him the right help a marvellous Neurosurgeon told us that after looking at his scan that if he didnt have Brain surgery within a few days he would be dead. My Parky had to go on the back shelf for a long time whilst i visited my Husband 25 miles away every day for a period of 3 weeks and then another month. I had no transport as the DVLA would not let me drive at that time due to an eye problem (since operated on and fine now) and the PD. Wonderful friends rallied round and worked out a rota to make sure i got there to see him. Eventually after 2 major ops and learning to walk again my wonderful man was back. He now dances again, walks miles and is my man again in every sense of the word. Please don't say Husbands who needs them.....be thankful to have yours and talk to each other , enjoy time together and make time for each other ......sometimes it takes a tragedy to make us realise what is important. Sorry to have gone on so much BB but i really hope you both find the happiness you deserve.
I am so glad your man is back, there is no need to feel sad for me I am not planning on leaving mine I just get really angry when he tries to tell me what to do when he has said to me before he does not know himself what is right for me. The only chore he does around house is load dishwasher whoopy do and it is not because I don't let him. To get anything done around here I have to ask at least 4 or 5 times. Then I give him guidance on what I need for me and then I am told I am wrong put it like this he does not cook clean iron do washing up or even know how to start washer I do EVERYTHING around this house he cant name my med's and according to him when I wake up at stupid o/clock everyday i should just stay in bed. I don't settle easy hence stupid o/clock i am the one whom manages my condition I have since before dx and then he has the cheek to say he is board how does he think I feel, I would not tolerant a stranger treating me badly so why would i accept it from him. Quite frankly he can sometimes talk to me like I am stupid then I have a pop at him and I am in the wrong.
He even argued the fact the other night about which doorway we entered the pub through and that was because he was drunk. So I think you will appreciate why I'm so miffed I do love him with all my heart he is the one doing the rejecting when he suggest we part it's an reasonable suggestion when I say it I'm being stupid and that can only be co's he thinks no one else will want to be with me because of my pd.
I will never tolerate anyone whom treats me disrespectfully i have always's been a strong willed person because I have had to be.
He wants me pre pd to come back and I've told him hundreds of times she can't what he has is Karen post pd the fighter whom will kick my pd into touch all the time whilst I can when I can.
