BB, after 18 years I still have difficulty accepting OH's diagnosis. I rail against it most days with some out burst or other. I DO know better than my OH does with regards to P as I am the one to research it in terms of medication etc.and to keep up to date with new developments. because he can't as he does not use the forum or the internet.Maybe involve your husband more with this aspect?? It may help both of you.
It seems BB that you are angry with the way that you OH is addressing your P. As a carer, I can identify with that from the other side, BUT, one day, your husband, WILL be your carer, like it or not, just as am right now for my OH. Take care what you wish for.
You say that you have always put him first but you are now putting your involvement with P first over an above him!. How must that make him feel? To just shut the door on him is really giving up, just my opinion which you may not like. I often feel like giving up, as a carer, but I made a promise and I still love my OH as much now as I did when we married,(maybe more so), so I am in it for the long term, whatever the future holds.