Hypersexuality

[Sadiemay2000]

Hi everyone, I’m hoping someone here might be able to offer some advice or share their own experience, because my family really doesn’t know where to turn anymore.

My dad has had Parkinson’s for nearly 15 years and is now in his early 60s. Over the last 2/3 years, we noticed a significant change in his behaviour. At first, we put a lot of it down to his Parkinson’s and his medication but things gradually became more concerning.

Around 6 months ago, we discovered that he had sent a customer an extremely inappropriate and sexual message. This was completely unwanted and obviously caused a lot of distress and worry. It was around this point that we started seriously questioning whether his medication could be contributing to his behaviour.

He was taking 18mg of ropinirole and his consultant began gradually reducing it. However, during that process, further things came to light, including inappropriate messages to a family member. Shortly afterwards, we also discovered that he had been visiting prostitutes over a period of around 2 years (we think - the story keeps changing)

I cannot explain what this has done to our family. My mum has been married to him for over 30 years and has been absolutely devastated by everything that has come out. She is now on antidepressants and medication for panic attacks. She is crying every day and having frequent panic attacks. It has completely broken her.

My dad is now off ropinirole but unfortunately the behaviour hasn’t simply disappeared. We don’t think he’s still visiting prostitutes but he can still be extremely erratic, arrogant and sometimes aggressive, although he has not been physically threatening. There is also a huge amount of lying and manipulation around what has happened, which is incredibly difficult for my mum to cope with emotionally.

He is no longer working and my mum works full time so she obviously cannot be with him 24/7 or monitor everything he does. We are doing everything we possibly can but he is a very strong character and doesn’t always listen to us.

We have contacted his Parkinson’s nurse and his consultant several times and they have been trying to help with his medication as we are also concerned that he may be taking more of Siminet than he is supposed to. He is prescribed 4 a day but because he becomes frustrated when he cannot move properly, we have concerns that he may sometimes take extra on top of the 4 he’s allowed to take.

what does anyone suggest we do next? I have reached out to Parkinson’s UK today and the lady was very lovely and it was nice to speak to her to get it off my chest, but we still haven’t heard back from his consultant or PD nurse and we just don’t know what to do.

We have reached a point where all of us are exhausted and struggling to cope.

thank you

[LauriePUKModTeam25]

Hi @Sadiemay2000 this sounds incredibly tough for all of you, and it’s clear the behaviour changes have had a huge impact on your family. Impulse control problems can happen in Parkinson’s, especially with certain medications, we have information on this here: Impulse control behaviours | Parkinson's UK.

You’re doing the right thing by speaking to his Parkinson’s nurse and GP as soon as possible, as they should be able to assess the whole picture and make recommendations for you

You’ve done the right thing by reaching out, and our helpline can support you while you’re waiting to hear back: 0808 800 0303. Wishing your whole family all the best

The Parkinson’s UK Moderation Team

[strumjough]

Only let your Dad have access to the right amount of Sinemet for a week and see if he needs more before the week is up.. that should help solve that thought, and if he is taking more then that might be why he still has compulsive behaviour. Sinemet isn’t a DA but overdosing on it can cause a similar response.

[CliveV]

Hi Sadiemay2000,

I am sorry but I am going to be blunt.
I have consulted on sites like this as well as sites like Life Line and Suicides Anonymous so I really do know what I am talking about, however very occasionally, according to my wife.
But jokes aside your dads behaviour is totally and completely unacceptable, and you should not tolerate it.
He seems to have decided that he can now do whatever he likes when he likes, how he likes and bugger the consequences, no matter who he hurts.
The “If I have to suffer, everyone else has to as well” syndrome.
Yes he has Parkinsons, and so do millions of others for as long as he has had and longer.
Can medication affect his behaviour in way including becoming addictive be it to sex or gambling, yes but he is purposely taking this to intolerable extremes.
Honestly what you and your family have to do, and yes, I know it is not going to be easy, is to sit him down and tell him that enough is enough and unless he stops his deplorable behaviour you are going to have him committed to a specialized psychiatric facility.
He will shout and scream and bluster how he is an adult and you cannot do that. Look him in the eyes and state that if necessary you will go to court and have them impose it, and yes they can, when they see what the situation is.
Them expect tears, from him, as excuse after excuse will follow, how sorry he is and he never meant it.
However please do not back down.
You and your mother cannot continue like this.
This is the only way he will realize you mean what you say.

[nikobins]

I am also a Pd sufferer and for the last 14 years I have been taking Co careldopa 12.5/50 twice a day and Co-caredolpa 25mg/100mg three times a day also Half Sinemet SC25mg/100mg slow release at bed time. And I can sympathise with both the family and the the chap with the problem, as I too am afflicted with the same problems, the only difference being that at 88 years of age my body is acting it’s age but my brain and my wants and urges are still in overdrive I am not able to get any relief physically so, visiting prostitutes in my case would not solve anything and just be a waste of money. and so to get a form of mental relief I took to the internet and pornography, this led to conflict with my daughter, as her job is with children and I myself having run our local neighbourhood watch for the last 33 years do have some respect in the community. with neighbours trusting me to have the keys to their houses. after each of us respecting the others position we compromised by my coming off my main computer with my problem and it’s solution and set myself up with a separate laptop while this is by no means a perfect solution, it has eased the tension in the family. I should also add that I lost my wife of 66 years marriage 22 months ago and that has left me with a big hole in my life and that in itself hasn’t helped at all. if instead of coming the with the big stick and threatening attitude and with the help of the medical profession you could maybe sit down together and maybe reach an understanding that suits you all, and while I agree with your family that the inappropriate messaging must stop immediately you all have a vey real and difficult problem to overcome and my thoughts and best wishes are with all your family, if I can help in any way please don’t be afraid t ask.

Very best wishes

George