It’s just over a year since my husband has been diagnosed. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to do and today… I need to cry. Not just for me but for my husband and the life we used to know. I feel myself sinking and I need a quiet space to vent my inner pain and anger and cry… I read an article by Billy Connolly about feeling that the end is near… Feeling emotional tonight… I need to cry…
Then cry Ladybird, if that’s what you need to do. No-one has died but you are going through a loss, the loss of the life you and your husband once had. You still have a life but it’s different, not of your choosing with an uncertain future. Most of us whether the person with PD or those who care, have cried sometime. It is part of grief. I’m glad you could share your feelings. I hope it’s helped. Take care.
I agree with Tot, Ladybird. Go ahead and cry. Release all those feelings of frustration and pain, of loss at the end of what you see as the end of the life you once knew…but then, when you feel better and your tears are dried, know that there IS still life there for you … not in the same way, no … but in another more challenging way. A stronger way. You will find other ways of doing things that you may enjoy more … each one of us is different and although it is sad to have read that article by Billy Connolly that is just his view … make your own happy times together, be strong, love each other no matter what.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with this evil affliction.
Mine changes from day to day.
Some days I can virtually ignore it and I think I’m winning. Other days it wipes me out leaving me in pieces. I’ve cried like a baby for my loss. I know that people see me differently… I am different. What can I do? Give up? What would that entail? Staying in bed all day feeling bitter?
I’m still learning how to deal with this shit. Life is hard enough without the stress of parkinsons. At 58 I could be looking at 20+ years of decline.
I’m sure I’ll be doing a lot of crying but there’s still some life to be lived.
Thank you @dee, on an emotionally strong day I know all this to be true, but on a lowsy day I have to dig a bit deeper. Deep down I know there is still life for us, but in this season all I feel is despair. Thanks for sharing a different perspective… I can do this
Thank you @Hubby for sharing your heart… somehow we get through this and find a way not just to survive, but to live.
Ladybird52 your husband is blessed to have someone that cares so much for him. Those living with us that have PD go through allot of change. There are days you boil over with feelings you have held inside.
It is time to sit back and take a deep breath. Take one day at a time.
In my case my wife and I are closer now then we ever were. AND IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF ME. What has made my life better is my wife.
Each day do things that you and your husband can do. Focus on the positive. You will get through this.
@Omahatom, I thank you for your encouragement… that makes such a difference knowing that someone else understands…
I care for my husband who has PD + dementia. I have days when I feel like you, so sad, wretched and isolated. There are times when my patience runs dry and I get angry and end up hating myself. I do rise up again and on I go. I find the Carers groups I go to very helpful. We have carers coming in twice a day, this is also helpful, they are so nice. I wish you both well.
It is very reassuring to know that I am not alone having such feelings. It can be so tough, and not for reasons that are obvious to everyone on the outside. Thank you for posting
I was very moved by this post. I have 11 years of Parkinson’s and understand the feeling and what you are going through. But there is not just hope but a real life ahead of you. Perhaps this article will help. Courage and determination you can take control.
Thank you @Alman, that certainly made good reading and put things in another perspective. A reminder to change mindset for positive results. I’ll read this again…
Please make sure you do have a good cry, when I was struggling a couple of years ago I didn’t and kept going. In the end I finished up making myself ill. If you ever feel you need it I found talking to a counsellor very helpful. Xx
Thank you @Georgiegirl. I’m currently starting the process of organising a counsellor for me. Boy do I need to cry. Sometimes I think I’m alright… other times I’m so tired, frustrated and angry… I could cry. I have been greatly encouraged over the last few days by the people on this forum, so thank you.
You do indeed have my shoulder and that of all who have responded. I hope it helps to know we can empathise and understand and although we can’t physically be with you we can provide a safe sounding board for the bad times and share your better ones, because you will have better times. We’re here as you need. Take care.
Hi Ladybird, it’s ok to cry … let out the tears and you will find the strength to carry on , Billy Conolly has his own way to cope … he isnt well and thats sad … but thats his story not yours … I have Parkinson a year and a bit on now … I dont have meds . I have a shakey hand … thats it , I walk swim , I get out and about as usual … my guitar playing isnt what it was and that disturbed me for a while …but I still play and record songs… I’m lucky … I have a lost a brother and two friends to cancer and a stroke . I have a friend who is blind … Parkinson isnt the end and in comparison its not the worst … I consider myself lucky and make the most of life , every day … never mind what others do … you are unique … dry those tears … blessings to you x
Ladybird I CRY every day it’s a good release sometimes just a few tears others a full blown cry so just let your feelings out xxx
If it helps folk who feel like crying but hold back because it suggests an emotional weakness or whatever the reason you tell yourself, there is research to back up the benefits of having a good cry. So if it helps use the science if this legitimises the tears and gives you ‘permission’ as it were. There’s loads on the internet, this is just one article.
Whatever way you do it, it is better than trying to deny or smother what you feel. Crying is not a weakness it actually has some real benefits for your body and what does it matter if an emotional event is the trigger if you feel better afterwards.
After 19 years of PD me and sobbing, well i’m a pro. The worst situation is stopping yourself from those necessary wracking sobs. This is never good…the emotion just builds.