Ignorance and the art of diplomacy


#1
Hi folks been dx now 4yrs and during this time I have been the target of a number of 'unfortunate' comments the highlights I will share.

The first was when a fellow manager rang my boss to say would I stop putting my hand in my pocket because members of his team said it looked like I was messing with myself (word to that effect!) This was 2 weeks post dx - after my complaint he got minor wrist slap (when told of my dx his reply was not his problem):imp:

When attending my DAT scan the radiologist said 'can you lie still please' - answered if I could don't think I would be here.

A well meaning acquaintance hearing me say I was still going to do everything I could for myself and keep fit and happy, told me patronisingly that I was fooling myself and should just give into the inevitable :rolling_eyes: got very angry.

Then last week shop assistant said to stop shaking it wasn't that cold outside - answer no it isn't that would be the PD.

Is it me? I would never dream of talking to anyone like this, don't get me wrong I perfectly capable of giving as good as I get. Has anyone else had this?:rolling_eyes:

#2
yes they refused to serve me in a pub because I was walking wonky and they thought I was drunk

#3
Hi BJS I have had the opposite recently .Attended for breast screening and asked if I had any problems I said I had a problem with my right arm and shoulder she asked if it was a frozen shoulder and it was the first time I have said that I have PD, mammographer reacted with caring and understanding throughout the whole uncomfortable screening so there are diplomatic people out there :grin:

#4
Glad some people have had positive responsible responses - I carry my PUK card with me along with a sense of humour, I think it's the best way to deal with comments from people who do this

A PUK card may have sorted the barman who refused you a drink.

#5
Hi Don`t get me started on this subject!!

I have experienced a few episodes of ignorance from people in general. Ref my blog on shopping at Asda!

Why do people feel they can comment on the and health of a total stranger?

Also over the Xmas period i have met friends/relations i haven`t seen for quite a long time (i`ve been keeping my self isolated because of anxiety attacks) and i don`t know if any one else has had this but after a few drinks the subject of my PD comes up (Dutch courage) and i become a shoulder to cry on! its almost as if they have just been diagnosed. I now carry plenty of tissues just in case. I know its because they are sympathetic but it don`t half drive you mad!

Chris[::confused

#6
Hi Big C :arrow_right: I'm with you! where do people get their ideas from :exclamation: Sympathise/ empathise yes :sunglasses: patronise/insult that shows extremely bad manners in my book.

Really don't mind people asking what's wrong if they really need to know, just can live without thoughtless/ inane comments

#7
Some people are rude and insensitive, so many more are still ignorant about the condition and its many symptoms, this is why it has to come out more in the open,
it has not reach this stage yet unfortunately.

Natasha

#8
Hi BJS,
I had my Gall bladder removed in February last year.Was not straight forward,slow recovery and still have a few problems.So went for a check yesterday and saw the consultants understudy.He watched me as I walked in and sat down.He looked at me and said in a derogatory way"What's up with you",of course,my tremor was also through the roof.I explained that I had Parkinsons.He then preceded to tell me I was too young,"who told you you had Parkinsons" and basically gave me the 3rd degree,asking amongst other things"had I been drinking".This is a so called health professional.Is it any wonder we often feel self conscious when in public.Just what do other people think as I stumble and limp along.
So know how you feel BJS,and have had a few experiences before that one too.
All the best
Titan

#9
Hiya Titan thanks for sharing and the support :grin: the man was obviously a complete noob :imp: But if your ever in my neck of the woods I'll buy you a pint and we will stumble to the bar together and s-d anyone who can't accept us for who we are :exclamation:

#10
When the Prime Minister himself makes the remark he made about Tourette syndrome, having had a disabled son himself what can we hope for? isn't sad? and to have those stupid comment from a medical man: how pitiful!

It just shows that in every walk of life there is the good and the awful too.
Thank God everyone is not the same!

Natasha

#11
Quite apart from the insensitivity and arrogance of it all, it is really quite alarming the tunnel vision of some in the medical world who have not heard of stuff which you would expect someone in the medical sphere to have picked up through a natural interest - its not that these things don't get into the papers at all and certainly into the medical journals . I can think of examples relating to a wide range of conditions. Lay people can be forgiven for ignorance if not for making impudent remarks.

An acquaintance of mine told me yesterday that her neuro said she couldn't possibly have nausea as a result of her PD meds. whereas its top of the list of side effects.

Some years ago, I was given the third degree about my underactive thryoid medication. Fortunately I knew that in the US the meds were being used for slimming purposes otherwise I could have been alarmed at the doctors apparently. querying why I needed to take thyroxin.

#12
Just had another it's not cold outside remark :exclamation: But thought I'd share a more amusing one. Met a little person in a shopping centre who asked me why my left side was moving, when I told him simply that I had an illness he replied it's like your dancing but we can't hear the music :laughing:

#13
Just reminds me of a lady in local support group - a bit of an eccentric, but lovely... sadly some local youths used to "cat-call" after her watching her stumble along.... So, she went to the local t-shirt printing place and got one that said "I've got Parkinson's... what's your problem?"..

A bit "in yer face" perhaps, but those local youths now watch out for her and help her if they see her around..

Warmest wishes everyone.. and thanks for your friendship... bursardavid